Showing posts with label bridezilla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bridezilla. Show all posts

Monday, December 27, 2010

#BridalPlasty: Janessa, Ruler of the World (or, at least, of the Bridal Plasty House!)


Oh, Janessa, you crazy girl!  She is completely in charge of all da girls in the Bridal Plasty house, tonight... and she managed to 'outwit' (if we can borrow from Survivor for a second...) Alexandra... what??  How did that happen??  But Alexandra seemed soo smart.... did she say she wanted to have liposuction AND be a new member of MENSA??  Maybe you left the room when she mumbled that... but I loved the bit where Kristen says shes afraid of Alexandra... that's hilarious!  You know you're dealing with a 'rough girl', when you can imagine her doing you some bodily harm!  "She'll cut a biiitch!" hahaha!  (Which is also the title of a very funny Kathy Griffin show, if you haven't seen it.... now, Kathy Griffin has been through some serious plastic surgery, and she looks fantastic, but she has been very open about how much it hurt, too... beauty hurts, baby!) (Not for me -- the most I'll do that seems even moderately painful is tweeze me eyebrows, and that's my limit!! hahaha! Breast implants?  Forget it.... show me what you're willing to implant, first...! lol!)

Omg, how sad and pathetic did Allyson look at the RSVP Ceremony, where Alexandra was finally voted off??  Poor kid!  Why would she have all that surgery, liposuction on her arms and face, but not on her tummy??  Her poor tummy was hanging out when she got out of the car when she came home from the plastic surgery 'prize' in Newport Beach (a very pretty place, if you haven't been there, yet...).  Really?  Wouldn't you maybe wear something to cover up a flabby stomach?  Alexandra did that all the time, too. her tummy was always hanging out... why not just wear something nice to cover it up, accentuate the good parts, because Alexandra ia a very pretty girl, and she looked really pretty in her little outfit at the RRSP 'Dinner', tonight... and she didn't see it comin'... she didn't know she'd been played.... now she'll "still have her wedding, but it just won't be perfect"... I looove that! haha!  For the record, is anyone's wedding ever really 'perfect'??  Good luck with that, since there are a million things (and people) who can, and do, throw a monkey wrench into the best-laid plans... (in my case, the GROOM.. first marriage, not the second! hahaha!  Yes, ladies, you can have all sorts of weddings... I'm shooting for a third, right now!  Or one day... I hope not toooo far in the future!! I loove being married, I just want a really great guy to be married to... is da tricky part! lol!)

Oh, I see I am the voice of doom, tonight -- I've learned from the Best -- Allyson... I loove her Eeyore voice!  Omg, I love Eeyore!  And I have known many, many a man who is an Eeyore, with that very Eeyore voice!!  I wonder why I am so attracted to that?  So I can cheer them up?  Who knows?? Maybe I like the humour that comes with that Eeyore voice!! haha!  Plus, I looove to imitate them, AND their crazy stories, because they always tell you some looong, drawn out story, some woe-begotten tale, where they have, in some way, been hard-done by... I love that stuff! I love a long story!! And their stories always start out with, "Oh, the weather's sure bad, today", or, "Oh, the weather's sure hot, today..."  Always a cheery entry like that... I loove it!!

So here's the weird thing about Kristen 'Big Boobs'-whatever her real last name is... who cares... the important thing is, she now has giant bazoombas... bazoomgas... whatever.  Big breasts.  They're giant.  And when they do a close up shot of Kristen, frankly, she just looks fat, so I thought she was a fatty (I use that word with much kindness, by the way, since I used to a' be one! hahaha!)... but then, tonight, they panned away from her, so you could see the whole girl, and she's really slim, so that is bizarre. And now she has to wear that giant bra, to hold her new breastesses up... yick.  How heavy are they? (how many men are volunteering to try to figure that out using only their hands as measures?? hahaha!)  You know when you come home from work, or school, or a date... hahaha! (Okay, that last one was for me!! lol!), you can't wait to take everything off, get into your comfy clothes??  So even all your jewelry has to come off?  So what does that feel like to have 6 - 10 new pounds in your chest, that you have to carry around every day??  Must be bizarre... I wonder how much those implants weigh?? Hmmm... I'll put that under the list of 'things I'll never look up'! hahaha!

We have to cover our eyes for all the plastic surgery bits.. yuck!!  And what happens if Allyson ever, say, goes to a gym to work out, or actually begins to eat healthy food, loses weight the natural way... then what will her face look like?  Will her 'new look' help her to find a job?  Funny, I rarely see her working out in the Bridal Plasty House, and have never heard her talk about finding a job, only about losing their jobs... hmmm... well, it'll be fun to see what Allyson looks like when the bandages come off, and the swelling goes down.... okay, better get to bed... get my beauty rest! hahaha!  See, I'm willing to do that, too!  Why, I'll even have a nap in the middle of the day, if that'll help, too! lol! xox! You, my lovely, you look great just the way you are!!I hope you're having THE best week, ever! Ailsa : )

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

#Bridalplasty... Wait, Pump Your Brakes, Biitches... #Weddings #Marriage



Wait, pump your brakes... hahaha!  That's hilarious!  Who says that, still? Netty, that's who!  What happened?  Did she get caught in a 1980's time warp, or something?? Hilarious!  And she said it twice, so it wasn't like a little slip of the tongue, just full out 80's slang, all over the place!  haha! 

Man, I laughed my way through Bridal Plasty, tonight... just soo many crazy girls, and everyone sayin' some serious sh*t... I loved when Allyson tells Jaime she and her 'fiance' had a Wedding Budget of $25,000! hahahaha!  Come on -- don't you have to have a job to plan a big-asss wedding like that??  Puh-leeease.  Don't tell me they got to the first $100 and couldn't resist blowing it all on a brand new ... tattoo!! hahaha!  Oh, soo classy.  Classy lady.

And I loooved it when Kristen excitedly goes off to get her 'new boobs', and the doctor is playin' with them during surgery, to see if they're 'just right'! hahaha!  Man, this stuff was made for TV!  I'm lovin' it! And I loved when the doctors did a fist bump, right before Kristen's surgery... so that's what doctors do to signal they're ready to start, uh, pumping you up.... maybe that's what Netty means by 'pump your brakes'... maybe she meant to say 'pump your boobs'... and hilarious that no one seems to ever refer to their breasts as 'breasts', only boobs.. oh, so refined.  Such delicate, lovely ladies... :)

I felt soo sorry for Cheyenne, clearly suffering with her new nose.. man, that looks insanely painful.  Every time I look at Cheyenne wincing in pain, I think of the vivid description of rhinoplasty in Kathy Griffin's book.. sounds horrific (not the book -- it's hilarious... the nose job, baby!).  But what I don't understand, is why do people, any people, have to endure pain, any more?  Don't we have all sorts of pain medicine available? Why not just dope yourself up for a week, or so, until the pain goes away... you'll sleep for a week, wake up with a new nose (and maybe even a new attitude, but, dammit, probably the same fiance! hahaha! --me own private joke! lol!). 


But I've gotta say, my favorite two crazies in the house are Janessa and Alexandra... man, that Alexandra is a really pretty girl, until she opens up her mouth... puts her foot right in it... she's soo mad that she might be voted out, she's gonna quit... yes, that's brilliant.  Good Plan! What a good thinker!  She's soo furious that "there is only 7 more chances to win, and all the times I skipped drinking for this"... sooo unfair!! Did you hear her??  She skipped drinking for a few days!!  Omg, they should just let her win, right now, goddammit!  What's wrong with these other girls (who "are making me look like a bitch", says Alexandra!), who appear to ALSO want to win da big prizes... it's the one show where you want 'big slashes' in your prizes! har, har! Oh, man, she's an angry girl.. you gotta love that!  Oh, and when Alexandra was all full-of-herself, parading down the runway in her wedding dress, thinking she was all that, and Phillip, the judge, says, 'oh, you remind me of someone', and Alexandra pipes in, without missing a beat, "Eva Longoria??"  hahaha!  Uhh, nope. The Phillip says her dress looks like crap from the front, but from the back even worse. Priceless!

When Janessa was sitting in the room, talking to Alexandra, looking like complete hell... you're on TV, on a show specifically designed to improve your looks, wouldn't you want to try to look your best? Oh, so funny.  This is not the time to 'fugly' yourself up, right in front of the cameras! haha!  But Alexandra goes ahead and spills the beans that she's there to get the plastic surgery, not the wedding --- hmmmm, who saw that coming?  These girls are mental wizards, I tells ya! It's a shame, though, because soo many of the girls are there mostly for the wedding, since they are really lovely, pretty girls... but crazy that Jaime was upset about being voted off (no one RRSP'd to her 'wedding' hahaha!), when she's already married, with children.  No.  what's this business about having to have a million weddings?  I know a girl who had yet another wedding, but has been married for years... and these idiots expect you to bring a gift every time they 'get married all over again'.. no, that's called an anniversary, and you don't get any presents from every person you ever met for that.  Just go have dinner, get home to the kids! lol!

Poor Kristen.  Some people still ask her for her ID, on account o' her .. small breasts?  Smallish brain??  I loved it, when she's all done with her surgery, watching the RRSP vote, finally beginning to see some sort of... pattern... in how the girls vote.  Why, it's like the girls have formed some sort of... alliances... and didn't it look like her new 'boobs' are right up by her chin?? Is hilarious! Omg, what a great show!

And now Bridal Plasty has come down to The Good Girls vs. The Bad Girls, and the Queen of the Bad Girls is Janessa... who refers to herself as the puppet-master... man, you can tell this show is unscripted, 'cause you couldn't write this stuff, or get any respectable actor to say the lines... lol!

We watched the Season Finale of The Amazing Race, too, and those toothy doctors, Nat and Kat, won... ugh.  I hate when wealthy people win big money prizes.  But I'm glad the A.D.D. girl and her fugly sidekick didn't win... I liked Jill, the hair dresser (she looked like she'd have enough money to make it on her own, dump her arrogant boyfriend... lol! See how I think?? haha!)... then we watched the preview for the next Amaziong Race, and it's just all the people who didn't win, from before... ugh.  I hate that, too. (Really, I'm jam-packed full of hate, for really important things, like TV shows, 'n such... lol!) Let new people have a chance... and I can't stand ADD girl -- man, can you imagine being stuck in a room with her, bouncing off the walls?  Or her fugly sidekick, with nothing to say, except for the occasional put-down for the Jumper? Or maybe, 'My face still hurts...' I don't know which one I disliked, more... but I didn't think we'd have to see their faces on TV, again.. and were those the easiest 'final tasks' you've ever seen?  Looked like stuff you'd pay to do... bungee jumping in Long Beach, putting some flowers in a vase in Pasadena, playing a quick Match Game with Bob Eubanks... sounds like a great day, to me!!

Cara and I watched Kendra, too... she's on her own, now... yep, sure looks like she is... doesn't it look like Kendra and Hank are completely separated, now?  Poor girl.  We really like her. Hank, I'm not so sure of... he seemed kind of controlling in some of the episodes (you married a PLAYBOY girl, so why would you expect her to turn into your mom??  And why does he call her 'mama'?? Yuck!  A sure recipe for disaster, when a couple (especially a young couple) call each other mom and dad... eeewwww.  No.  Keeps your roles straight.  The children call you mom and dad, you call each other by your given names, or a sweet name (okay sometimes there's a slight slip and it's a not-very-nice name...), but never, mom and dad... yick! So it's not looking good for Hank and Kendra, but man, that baby is sooo cute! Will be fun to see how this season plays itself out.. :)

Okay, you can see I have had a very, very busy night of continual TV watching -- me favorite! haha!  Yours too, maybe! I hope you had a great night, too... and have many s'mores!  See you soon, Ailsa xoxI hope you're having THE best week, ever! Ailsa : )

  Are we all blown away by how incredibly youthful Suzanne Somers looks? Suzanne Somers looks amazing, and what a great attitude toward life! I love it! She's so cute!! Plus, me loves da Thigh Master - hahaha! Beauty and health products that are pure and clean, easy and fun! Beautiful inside and out with Suzanne Somers' Beauty, Health & Fitness!

Enjoy 10% OFF Your Entire Purchase At SuzanneSomers.com €“ Just Use Discount Code "Suzanne10" Today!

Damsel in A Dress Well, you know that made me laugh! lol! And this is for all my UK freinds! : )

Vitamin C Daily Moisturizer SPF 30 $10, reg. $20. Offer valid 7/22-7/24

Everyday Free Shipping with Any Purchase at The Body Shop!

Find your own favorite Little Black Dress! : )

Shop Nordstrom for Fall's Top Dresses now. 100% FREE Shipping & FREE Returns.

And then, don't forget, Nordstrom Rack - it's fantastic! Is fun to shop around, find a great deal!

New Dress Arrivals at up to 70% off on Nordstrom Rack!

Shop Clearance styles up to 85% off original prices today on NordstromRack.com!

SammyDress has unbelievable deals - you will lose your mind when you see their prices - lol!

10% off for all with coupon: FlexOffersLS. (Exp: 12/31/2015) from SammyDress.com