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Janessa, you sly dog, you, and now with that new snout, man oh man, watch out, girls in da Bridal Plasty House!! Janessa's out to be Number ONE!! lol! Remember that Debbie Harry
Okay, sorry about that digression.. that has never happened to me, before... that I am willing to recall ; )
So Janessa has her new nose. Could she breath after she got home in the Recovery Room? And is Allyson on some wild and crazy painkillers that are making her pretend to fly in bed with her 'new arms'?? And are her arms still hideous, or is that just me?? Yick! Why not just lift a few weights, Allyson? I know you're not weighed down by a pesky job, or nuffin'.... or perhaps more weight lifting, less cake lifting?? Oh, I'm jam packed full of practical advice like that... I wonder why da fatties don't seek my counsel, no more, eh?? hahahahaha! You know, I used to want to open a women's gym, but let's face it, I looove to work out with big muscley men... yum! They're fun to watch, and they're waaay more willing to help me place the weights for my favourite 'Get Rid of Cellulite' exercises... (even happy to help! lol!)... but here's the thing about what happens when I'm saying to a woman who might like to get rid of her cellulite, or just to slim down, in general... almost invariably, the 'lady' (and I use that term fairly loosely... haha!) says she does not want to end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger
Netty, poor Netty, was voted out of the Bridal Plasty house, tonight... but how poor is Netty? Did you happen to see the rock on her finger? And what, exactly, did she want to have done? She was slim, pretty, lovely hair when she put it back... just a bad attitude, is all, and I'm pretty sure they canny correct for that at the Newport Beach Plastic Surgery Center, no matter how hard they try! lol! These poor girls! Too bad they can't pull a Heidi Montag, and get everything done while they're under the knife! How handy would that be?? Just get a complete make-over in one fell swoop. Would be easy... well, would be painful... and may or may not work out just like you wanted... and then you'd have to have that awkward conversation with your Mom about why you didn't like your genetic background, anymore -- just not marketable, Mom.... don't worry, your Mom will understand... maybe she can go in, too, have a few ribs removed, or something simple like that... how's the dog look? A little fat?? Ugh. Nothing worse than an unattractive dog (or not fit for the Hollywood cameras, anyway) ... plastic surgery for pooches... sounds like a great idea, no?? hahaha! Poor wee dogs! If only we could love ourselves as much as we love our little dogs!! Wouldn't that be a nice world?
Who is this digressing all the time?? Is it still me?? Ugh. This is not like me, at all. Not at all. That is the last time I have a wee drink during Bridal Plasty!! hahahaha! I laugh because that's clearly not the last time.... there are a few more episodes, so why would I even mislead you like that? Makes no sense... I so sorry. Sowwwy. Did you like the picture of Heidi Montag
You know one of my favourite moments on Bridal Plasty, tonight?? When Allyson, Eeyore-Allyson, says to Lisa Marie, THE most boring person I think I have ever seen on TV, and thus the very best possible competition for the truly motivated Janessa.... anyway, when down-in-the-dumps-Allyson tells Lisa Marie to 'snap out of it, pick yourself up, man'!! hahahaha! Do you know how low you'd have to be for an Eeyore type to even begin to notice you needed to pick yourself up, cheer up a little?? hahaha! Oh, man, this is seriously good TV!
I gotta tell ya', I thought those bouquets they made were hilarious! Really, who doesn't know how to make a bouquet? They're not being asked how to solve World Hunger, or how to build a simple rocket ship... nope, just put some pretty flowers together in the shape of a bouquet, tie them together in some fancy way, done. Lisa Marie's sad attempt was soo hilarious, and Dominique's utter disgust for her flailing friend was fantastic. I love that.
Poor Kristen. Are those new big boobs makin' her look stooopid, or was she like that when she got there?? haha! Does she look like she's about to topple over? Wouldn't it be hilarious if the plastic surgeon had to increase your foot size for every 'D Cup' you went up, so you wouldn't just topple right over? Oh, I would laugh soo hard! Now that's the sort of thing that really appeals to my sense of humour! haha! These girls... why don't they just have a baby, and they'll have huuge breasts before they know it? They're about to get married, so just get to baby-makin', and save your money for a downpayment on a house, and you won't need to have your new giant bras custom made, either.... and why is Kristen always covering up her brand new breasts?? Always with the high neck tops and dresses, now, and how come the camera never really lets us have a good look at her? You know waht I think is really funny? Remember last week, when they kept showing Kristen with her top off, and just blurred her new boobs versus the 'old boobs'? Did anyone else happen to notice that the new boobs are pointing outward, like one said to the other, "I'll meet you 'round back", and the other boob says, 'I'm already halfway there..." haha! Really, she needs that gigantic bra
We keep looking at Cheyenne's face to see how different her face looks with the new nose, but she's such a pretty girl, it's hard to tell. Maybe that's the mark of an excellent surgeon... you can hardly tell the difference, but you know the person looks really, really good... hmmm. Or they topple right over... one or the other! lol! Until next time, Love Thyself! To Thine Ownself Be True, and all that (yes, well, I might have made some of that up...! lol!) Oh, and Happy New Year!!! Ailsa xox! :) (See, there I am, again.. two eyes, a smile, that's me, all right... :) lol!)I hope you're having THE best week, ever! Ailsa : )
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