#Bridalplasty: Janessa Rules Again!! It's Good to Be Queen! lol! #PlasticSurgery #Weddings

Bridalplasty - It's Always Playing Somewhere! lol! 

Janessa had to switch teams, tonight, 'cause she just couldn't keep saving down-in-the-dumps Lisa Marie (aka: The Cockroach, poor boring girl....)... man, has there ever been such a dull girl??  But I loooved it when Lisa Marie turns into a tyrant when her mother-in-law to be shows up, and they have to do the 'photo shoot' together, down at Venice Beach.... hilarious!

So it was finally time to give up the goat, so-to-speak, and vote Lisa Marie out.... now she'll have her wedding, but it just won't be perfect... lol!  What a horrible thing to say to someone, about to get married! "Too bad you still a fatty with a normal nose..." That's horrible... these crazy girls!  What did Lisa Marie want done, anyway?  I have a sneaking feeling that she secretly thinks she's a sexy diva (did you catch the icky cleavage shot when she was sitting at the RSVP Table?? hahaha! Ick.  Usually it's great to see some cleavage, but on some women, let's just say, repulsive women, it just makes you feel queasy to get an accidental peak -- yuck!! Cover up, Lisa Marie... you were right, all along, to dress like a mennonite lady... (no, that's not a mennonite lady posing in da picture beside me, here... she's probably Presbyterian, because I don't think we have very tight rules about that.. I'll be sure to ask when I go at Easter... lol!)

(Oh, no, I just realized I didn't mention about the mother-in-laws coming to town!!  I wrote a whole thing about how to get along with your in-laws... usually, it's waay harder to get along with your mother-in-law than it is to get along with your father-in-law, but I've had some trouble with them both, so maybe you'll find a few words of wisdom, or at least have a few laughs, know that someone else has been in your shoes, and survived, and you will, too! lol!)



How stoopid do you think these girls are, on average?  Very stooopid, a little stupi, just not-good-with-numbers?? hahaha! Really, they couldn't do a little math on the car ride to Venice Beach??  Add up the point system for the photos, in advance?? I know, I know, beauty before brains... or is that the wrong away around?  Not here in Hollywood!  Beauty first, forget everything else... and will be waaay easier to convince them to do work that could be life-threatening, for the sake of the show... and is it true that Cheyenne actually wants liposuction??  On her thighs???  Can you even see them??  These poor girls -- are they constantly looking in mirrors, unhappy with themselves?  And if they're getting married, doesn't the fiance already love them, or do you think they have those gross men, who are all fat and gross, themselves, who demand 'their girl' to be perfect, al the time.  God knows there are a lot of those men, around.. ick.  In fact, they're usually the most hideous guys who think they deserve to be with the best women.. uh, no.  Shut up and be thankful any girl is looking your way... usually the handsome fellows are much more self-satisfied, so they're more normal to be with... some food for thought, ladies!! haha!  (And healthier food than a bag full of Doritos! lol!)

I keep looking at Allyson's arms, and they look a whole lot like they looked, before.  And she says she's always had flabby arms... why??  Really, it never occurred to her to get off the couch and lift something up?  Not ever?? In 20 years??  How old is she??  Man, I should look that up... wait, I got a computer... I look dat up fer youse, right now!! I'll be riiiight back!  Otay, lookie what I found for you... or maybe this is already your homepage... (lol!) http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/bridalplasty/cast_bios.html  It's E! Online, and they have the pics and bios of all the Bridalpasty girls!  WooHoo!  So, it turns out, Allyson is the ripe old age of 32... I get to say 'ripe old age', becasue I'm 47, sooooo, well, maybe I get to say that! lol!

So here's the craziest thing that juuust happened, when I went on my search (for you!) to find out how old Allyon is.. I typed into Google, Bridal Plasty: how old is Allyson, and whose site comes up on the very first page??  MINE!!!  Yippee!  Thank you!  Enough people must have clicked on me little site to put it right up there, and here's what's really funny... my other site, http://www.buildyourownhouse.ca/ , is on the first google page, too, and my daughter, Cara, her site is on Google page three!!  Yahoo! That's huuuge!  Couple o' little Canadian girls go big on da internet highway!! Funny!! No we just have to figure out how to make a little money at this game, and we're all set!! haha!

Okay, enough about meee... now there's something you'll never hear uttered in the Bridalplasty house!! Oh, and turns out that Bridal Plasty is one word... who knew?? Not me, apparently! lol! So now I'll have to fix it on my pages...

I wish they would pan the camera back just a little bit from lovely Kristen. What a beautiful personality -- she's charming, realy. Calling Lisa Marie a cockroach... hmmm.  Now there's a name I've never given anyone, but I can see where it might fit it for some particularly annoying folks, so maybe I keep dat one up me sleeve for a special occasion, like when I'm on-camera, in the kitchen, in front of other girls who like her... oh, and did I say how smart Kristen is, too? Smart. Like a whip. Or whip cream... yeah, more like whip cream, now that I think of it... lol! Silly girls!  But did you know she comes from a line of Beauty Queens, and won a pageant, herself??  How crazy is that, and that's who's lining up for plastic surgery??  Say it ain't so! 

I am endlessly interested in Veneers, and how they do them... was that really a one day affair??  I thought they whittled down your teeth until they're like little stubs, then put the new veneers on top of the stubs?  Your close friends could call you stubby, and maybe get away with it.. oh, well, they might be callin' you stubby behind yer back, anyway, so they ARE getting away with it!! Can you believe your friends would talk about you like that???  Behind yer back??  I hope you take some action, stubby, and dinny let them get away with that! (yuff-yuff!!)

There, now don't say I never help you... here's a quick and easy way to fix yer teeth, for a fraction of the cost, and if you happen to be watching The Bachelor, too, and you, too, would like to look like Vampira (really, I haven't bothered to learn the Vampire girl's name, because, primarily, I'm interested in her teeth! hahaha!)

Okay, I have to go to bed.... I still have to go to work for a living (dammit!!), otherwise, I would stay here and talk to you, all night... you go on and sleep, that's okay, I'll be right here, whenever you wake up!! lol!  Go be happy with yourself!!  Go check out how slim your ankles are!!  (I secretly hopin' they not 'cankles!!'  Try to focus in on how lovely your eyebrows look, today... they key is to focus on the good parts, do what you can to change the bits you'd like to change, and accept yourself as the lovely creature you are, baby!!  xox!  (Oh, did you notice how I've learned how to add some pretty pictures, to keep your attention from fading while you read??  Your welcome!! hahaha!) Ttys! Ailsa xox!
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#BridalPlasty: Janessa Gets a New Nose! : o ) (Yes, that's exactly what it looks like! lol!) #PlasticSurgery #Weddings

Janessa, you sly dog, you, and now with that new snout, man oh man, watch out, girls in da Bridal Plasty House!!  Janessa's out to be Number ONE!! lol!  Remember that Debbie Harry song, "I'm Gonna Be Your Number 1"?? haha! I used to always sing that, and for some bizarre reason or another, I really thought it affected the man I was with!! Made me his Number ONE!! hahahaha! (Okay, I'm just amusing myself, right now, thinking of that, and that I should totally try that again, see if it still works! hahahaha!  And maybe I'll get 'something done', too... it's hard not to think of that after you've just watched Bridal Plasty, then you go look in the mirror, think, 'Hmmm, what would I look like with the tiniest nose, ever? haha!  I think I'll let that thought pass me by, and I'll need to move away from L.A. as soon as possible, too, since you feel phenomenal pressure here to look perfect -- or fit someone else's idea of what is 'perfect'.. but you know what's really funny about actually living in Los Angeles, California?  I really don't come across very many truly beautiful people, here.  Nice people, normally attractive people, more than my share of sheer monsters (but enough about my workplace... buh-dum-bum! hahaha!  Oh, I kill me! haha! No one else, yet (yes, I'm afraid of going to jail, so I never do anything illegal.... enough to go to jail, God Forbid! lol! )...

Okay, sorry about that digression.. that has never happened to me, before... that I am willing to recall ; )

So Janessa has her new nose.  Could she breath after she got home in the Recovery Room?  And is Allyson on some wild and crazy painkillers that are making her pretend to fly in bed with her 'new arms'?? And are her arms still hideous, or is that just me??  Yick!  Why not just lift a few weights, Allyson?  I know you're not weighed down by a pesky job, or nuffin'.... or perhaps more weight lifting, less cake lifting??  Oh, I'm jam packed full of practical advice like that... I wonder why da fatties don't seek my counsel, no more, eh?? hahahahaha!  You know, I used to want to open a women's gym, but let's face it, I looove to work out with big muscley men... yum!  They're fun to watch, and they're waaay more willing to help me place the weights for my favourite 'Get Rid of Cellulite' exercises... (even happy to help! lol!)... but here's the thing about what happens when I'm saying to a woman who might like to get rid of her cellulite, or just to slim down, in general... almost invariably, the 'lady' (and I use that term fairly loosely... haha!) says she does not want to end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger, when I say the best possible way to lose weight and get nice arms and legs is to lift weights... any weights, just get to lifting them, the sooner, da better.. men never assume they will immediately be pumped up from a little weight training, but women do... funny, right?  How can I convince women to save their time and money, do some simple weight lifting tricks? I dinny know the answer to that... so no Women's Gym for me... maybe I'll open a Bar, instead!!  Would be waaay more fun, anyway, right?? Maybe I could combine them, so you're going around the weight machines, with a cocktail in one hand, a beer in the other, getting chattier and chattier the further you get into youse workout (what workout?? haha!)... Hmmm.  I'm looking for a new line of work, maybe that's what I should look into.... maybe I could serve desserts, too, since I loove to bake fancy treats... here's what I could do... I could bring in da customers with the offer of a Free Drink, show them around the weight machines, but make sure all the hotties were walking around, all hot, as hotties like to be.... then feed them full of Cheesecake and cookies, so they would leave happy, would gain back any weight they'd lost at the gym, and would be back for more the next day... see, now that's how to get repeat customers.... and all that from me wincing when I looked at poor Allyson's arms on Bridal Plasty, tongiht!! hahaha! 

Netty, poor Netty, was voted out of the Bridal Plasty house, tonight... but how poor is Netty?  Did you happen to see the rock on her finger?  And what, exactly, did she want to have done?  She was slim, pretty, lovely hair when she put it back... just a bad attitude, is all, and I'm pretty sure they canny correct for that at the Newport Beach Plastic Surgery Center, no matter how hard they try! lol!  These poor girls!  Too bad they can't pull a Heidi Montag, and get everything done while they're under the knife!  How handy would that be??  Just get a complete make-over in one fell swoop.  Would be easy... well, would be painful... and may or may not work out just like you wanted... and then you'd have to have that awkward conversation with your Mom about why you didn't like your genetic background, anymore -- just not marketable, Mom.... don't worry, your Mom will understand... maybe she can go in, too, have a few ribs removed, or something simple like that... how's the dog look? A little fat??  Ugh.  Nothing worse than an unattractive dog (or not fit for the Hollywood cameras, anyway) ... plastic surgery for pooches... sounds like a great idea, no?? hahaha!  Poor wee dogs!  If only we could love ourselves as much as we love our little dogs!!  Wouldn't that be a nice world?  Reminds me, I need a new dog!!  Must build a new house for new little doggie!! I'll get on that, right away! :)  (That's me, by the way... I had my smile fixed -- can you tell?  Now I look like every other smiley face in the world!! haha!  I draw a happy face on the board at school, all the time, for my students, who are hilariously funny, and who appreciate my sense of humour... I draw the two dots for eyes and the bracket smile, and stand beside it, say to them, 'Looks just like me, right?  Two eyes?  I've got two eyes... a smile... just like me -- and we all laugh and laugh... it's fun wee jokes like that that make your day a wee bit brighter, no?? haha!)

Who is this digressing all the time??  Is it still me??  Ugh.  This is not like me, at all.  Not at all.  That is the last time I have a wee drink during Bridal Plasty!! hahahaha! I laugh because that's clearly not the last time.... there are a few more episodes, so why would I even mislead you like that?  Makes no sense... I so sorry.  Sowwwy. Did you like the picture of Heidi Montag??  Good.  She did all that work for you, so I'm glad you like it.  Her, I mean.  It/her, whatever. Semantics, really.

You know one of my favourite moments on Bridal Plasty, tonight??  When Allyson, Eeyore-Allyson, says to Lisa Marie, THE most boring person I think I have ever seen on TV, and thus the very best possible competition for the truly motivated Janessa.... anyway, when down-in-the-dumps-Allyson tells Lisa Marie to 'snap out of it, pick yourself up, man'!! hahahaha!  Do you know how low you'd have to be for an Eeyore type to even begin to notice you needed to pick yourself up, cheer up a little?? hahaha!  Oh, man, this is seriously good TV!

I gotta tell ya', I thought those bouquets they made were hilarious!  Really, who doesn't know how to make a bouquet?  They're not being asked how to solve World Hunger, or how to build a simple rocket ship... nope, just put some pretty flowers together in the shape of a bouquet, tie them together in some fancy way, done.  Lisa Marie's sad attempt was soo hilarious, and Dominique's utter disgust for her flailing friend was fantastic.  I love that. 

Poor Kristen.  Are those new big boobs makin' her look stooopid, or was she like that when she got there?? haha!  Does she look like she's about to topple over?  Wouldn't it be hilarious if the plastic surgeon had to increase your foot size for every 'D Cup' you went up, so you wouldn't just topple right over?  Oh, I would laugh soo hard! Now that's the sort of thing that really appeals to my sense of humour! haha!  These girls... why don't they just have a baby, and they'll have huuge breasts before they know it?  They're about to get married, so just get to baby-makin', and save your money for a downpayment on a house, and you won't need to have your new giant bras custom made, either.... and why is Kristen always covering up her brand new breasts??  Always with the high neck tops and dresses, now, and how come the camera never really lets us have a good look at her?  You know waht I think is really funny?  Remember last week, when they kept showing Kristen with her top off, and just blurred her new boobs versus the 'old boobs'?  Did anyone else happen to notice that the new boobs are pointing outward, like one said to the other, "I'll meet you 'round back", and the other boob says, 'I'm already halfway there..." haha!  Really, she needs that gigantic bra just to make them stay in the middle! hahahaha!

We keep looking at Cheyenne's face to see how different her face looks with the new nose, but she's such a pretty girl, it's hard to tell. Maybe that's the mark of an excellent surgeon... you can hardly tell the difference, but you know the person looks really, really good... hmmm.  Or they topple right over... one or the other! lol!  Until next time, Love Thyself!  To Thine Ownself Be True, and all that (yes, well, I might have made some of that up...! lol!)  Oh, and Happy New Year!!!  Ailsa xox! :) (See, there I am, again.. two eyes, a smile, that's me, all right... :) lol!)I hope you're having THE best week, ever! Ailsa : )

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#Bridalplasty... Wait, Pump Your Brakes, Biitches... #Weddings #Marriage

Wait, pump your brakes... hahaha!  That's hilarious!  Who says that, still? Netty, that's who!  What happened?  Did she get caught in a 1980's time warp, or something?? Hilarious!  And she said it twice, so it wasn't like a little slip of the tongue, just full out 80's slang, all over the place!  haha! 

Man, I laughed my way through Bridal Plasty, tonight... just soo many crazy girls, and everyone sayin' some serious sh*t... I loved when Allyson tells Jaime she and her 'fiance' had a Wedding Budget of $25,000! hahahaha!  Come on -- don't you have to have a job to plan a big-asss wedding like that??  Puh-leeease.  Don't tell me they got to the first $100 and couldn't resist blowing it all on a brand new ... tattoo!! hahaha!  Oh, soo classy.  Classy lady.

And I loooved it when Kristen excitedly goes off to get her 'new boobs', and the doctor is playin' with them during surgery, to see if they're 'just right'! hahaha!  Man, this stuff was made for TV!  I'm lovin' it! And I loved when the doctors did a fist bump, right before Kristen's surgery... so that's what doctors do to signal they're ready to start, uh, pumping you up.... maybe that's what Netty means by 'pump your brakes'... maybe she meant to say 'pump your boobs'... and hilarious that no one seems to ever refer to their breasts as 'breasts', only boobs.. oh, so refined.  Such delicate, lovely ladies... :)

I felt soo sorry for Cheyenne, clearly suffering with her new nose.. man, that looks insanely painful.  Every time I look at Cheyenne wincing in pain, I think of the vivid description of rhinoplasty in Kathy Griffin's book.. sounds horrific (not the book -- it's hilarious... the nose job, baby!).  But what I don't understand, is why do people, any people, have to endure pain, any more?  Don't we have all sorts of pain medicine available? Why not just dope yourself up for a week, or so, until the pain goes away... you'll sleep for a week, wake up with a new nose (and maybe even a new attitude, but, dammit, probably the same fiance! hahaha! --me own private joke! lol!). 


But I've gotta say, my favorite two crazies in the house are Janessa and Alexandra... man, that Alexandra is a really pretty girl, until she opens up her mouth... puts her foot right in it... she's soo mad that she might be voted out, she's gonna quit... yes, that's brilliant.  Good Plan! What a good thinker!  She's soo furious that "there is only 7 more chances to win, and all the times I skipped drinking for this"... sooo unfair!! Did you hear her??  She skipped drinking for a few days!!  Omg, they should just let her win, right now, goddammit!  What's wrong with these other girls (who "are making me look like a bitch", says Alexandra!), who appear to ALSO want to win da big prizes... it's the one show where you want 'big slashes' in your prizes! har, har! Oh, man, she's an angry girl.. you gotta love that!  Oh, and when Alexandra was all full-of-herself, parading down the runway in her wedding dress, thinking she was all that, and Phillip, the judge, says, 'oh, you remind me of someone', and Alexandra pipes in, without missing a beat, "Eva Longoria??"  hahaha!  Uhh, nope. The Phillip says her dress looks like crap from the front, but from the back even worse. Priceless!

When Janessa was sitting in the room, talking to Alexandra, looking like complete hell... you're on TV, on a show specifically designed to improve your looks, wouldn't you want to try to look your best? Oh, so funny.  This is not the time to 'fugly' yourself up, right in front of the cameras! haha!  But Alexandra goes ahead and spills the beans that she's there to get the plastic surgery, not the wedding --- hmmmm, who saw that coming?  These girls are mental wizards, I tells ya! It's a shame, though, because soo many of the girls are there mostly for the wedding, since they are really lovely, pretty girls... but crazy that Jaime was upset about being voted off (no one RRSP'd to her 'wedding' hahaha!), when she's already married, with children.  No.  what's this business about having to have a million weddings?  I know a girl who had yet another wedding, but has been married for years... and these idiots expect you to bring a gift every time they 'get married all over again'.. no, that's called an anniversary, and you don't get any presents from every person you ever met for that.  Just go have dinner, get home to the kids! lol!

Poor Kristen.  Some people still ask her for her ID, on account o' her .. small breasts?  Smallish brain??  I loved it, when she's all done with her surgery, watching the RRSP vote, finally beginning to see some sort of... pattern... in how the girls vote.  Why, it's like the girls have formed some sort of... alliances... and didn't it look like her new 'boobs' are right up by her chin?? Is hilarious! Omg, what a great show!

And now Bridal Plasty has come down to The Good Girls vs. The Bad Girls, and the Queen of the Bad Girls is Janessa... who refers to herself as the puppet-master... man, you can tell this show is unscripted, 'cause you couldn't write this stuff, or get any respectable actor to say the lines... lol!

We watched the Season Finale of The Amazing Race, too, and those toothy doctors, Nat and Kat, won... ugh.  I hate when wealthy people win big money prizes.  But I'm glad the A.D.D. girl and her fugly sidekick didn't win... I liked Jill, the hair dresser (she looked like she'd have enough money to make it on her own, dump her arrogant boyfriend... lol! See how I think?? haha!)... then we watched the preview for the next Amaziong Race, and it's just all the people who didn't win, from before... ugh.  I hate that, too. (Really, I'm jam-packed full of hate, for really important things, like TV shows, 'n such... lol!) Let new people have a chance... and I can't stand ADD girl -- man, can you imagine being stuck in a room with her, bouncing off the walls?  Or her fugly sidekick, with nothing to say, except for the occasional put-down for the Jumper? Or maybe, 'My face still hurts...' I don't know which one I disliked, more... but I didn't think we'd have to see their faces on TV, again.. and were those the easiest 'final tasks' you've ever seen?  Looked like stuff you'd pay to do... bungee jumping in Long Beach, putting some flowers in a vase in Pasadena, playing a quick Match Game with Bob Eubanks... sounds like a great day, to me!!

Cara and I watched Kendra, too... she's on her own, now... yep, sure looks like she is... doesn't it look like Kendra and Hank are completely separated, now?  Poor girl.  We really like her. Hank, I'm not so sure of... he seemed kind of controlling in some of the episodes (you married a PLAYBOY girl, so why would you expect her to turn into your mom??  And why does he call her 'mama'?? Yuck!  A sure recipe for disaster, when a couple (especially a young couple) call each other mom and dad... eeewwww.  No.  Keeps your roles straight.  The children call you mom and dad, you call each other by your given names, or a sweet name (okay sometimes there's a slight slip and it's a not-very-nice name...), but never, mom and dad... yick! So it's not looking good for Hank and Kendra, but man, that baby is sooo cute! Will be fun to see how this season plays itself out.. :)

Okay, you can see I have had a very, very busy night of continual TV watching -- me favorite! haha!  Yours too, maybe! I hope you had a great night, too... and have many s'mores!  See you soon, Ailsa xoxI hope you're having THE best week, ever! Ailsa : )

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