Showing posts with label wedding vows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding vows. Show all posts

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A Little More Love Advice : ) #Weddings #Marriage #Vows #Relationships #Love #AbusiveRelationships


And now a little more advice... hey, give a girl a platform, you know she's gonna use it (yes, I'm still talking about meself, but bizarrely enough, now in third person...).


Maybe take some courses, get yourself all ready to leave... 

Thought this was a good place to dispel that stupid old idea that 'There's someONE for everyone...'. I can't stand that crazy notion -- I think it only serves to keep people with someone who is absolutely not right for them, given that the phrase indicates there will only be ONE for you. Nonsense! There are Billions of people in the world -- there are lots of choices for every one of us, so you should never fear that you won't find someone else -- of course you will. You just need to keep your head up and your heart open and WHAMMO, your next 'someone special' will come along! YaaHooo!

No - this is CRAZY! No one should ever be told to go on and live with the devil... crazy (did I already say Crazy? Because that's CRAZY - lol! Get out, be safe, you'll be much happier! : )

Also, my Mum always used to say, "The Devil you Know's better than the Devil you Don't". It's a Scottish saying, and another one that drove me up the wall (not any more... I'm a bit older, and a whole lot wiser, and this stuff just rolls off my back, now, but that the time, it was tough to deal with...) -- My response was always the same, and it continues to be -- "I'd rather live alone than with any Devil!". And that's true. Just another old saying meant to create enough fear in women to make them stay in a difficult relationship.

Okay, if you're in hell, right now, or have been in pure hell in a relationship, dis' might make you laugh... #FeelBetter! : )

Well, I think I'm on a bit of a rant, now, so I might as well tackle a more controversial subject -- the Marriage Vows. Really, who came up with 'For Better or Worse'?? How much Worse, you should ask. There's many a Batterer who has used this phrase against his wife... When Dwight and I got married, and the Minister said "For Richer or Poorer", I couldn't repeat the phrase... I don't want or need to be with someone else (see the emphasis on the else?? That's a little reference to my horrible first marriage...) who would impoverish me. No thank you. I'm a well educated, fully employable woman, and any guy who would happily drag me down some crazy spiral of poverty with him has to go. Kick him to the curb, so-to-speak! I'd be better off to be on my own. I've raised a child on my own before, and I can do it again, if need be. So that's what I was thinking during the Marriage Vows...and so I said,"For Richer or Richer", and Dwight laughed, so I knew that part was fine!

If only the devil were this cute, and this task-oriented - haha! 

And the 'Obey' thing -- puh-leeease, don't even get me started! I hope to God no-one is saying that part anymore!

The thing is to go into Marriage with a firm grip on the reality of it -- it's a lot of work to put up with another person (and all their crazy relatives! Remember that the old adage that you're not just marrying your spouse, you're marrying the entire family -- man, ain't that the truth! Some time we'll get into the whole In-Law thing -- that's such a touchy subject for so many people. I've had two very difficult Mothers-in-Law, and that's enough for me. They can make your life a complete misery or they can be as wonderful as a second mother... always good to make sure the family unit is not tooooo insane before you get married! (Of course, then there'd only be a handful of marriages every decade, and the Wedding Industry would be livid, 'cause doesn't everybody come with some craziness attached..., so just find someone who can actually separate themselves from their Ma and Pa, and give it a shot!)

Might as well clear something else up, in case you've made the connection with me and the Ben Johnson thing. When I met Ben, I was living in some sort of cloud, I think, and I had absolutely no idea of how one would go about earning a living without going to work every day. I totally didn't get that. So when I met him and he seemed to be at home a lot, and travelled a lot, too, so I thought, "Oh, no. He's broke. What's he living on?? The house (very big, just for the record!) is paid for, the Ferrari is paid for (or was it a Lambougini?? I can never remember the difference!), his other two luxury cars were paid for -- what on earth is he living on??" And he seemed to be supporting some family members, too.
I felt that I could help him to get back on track (ha,ha,ha! He's an Olympic Runner, for those who might have forgotten!). I think I felt a certain kindred with Ben because we were both being thoroughly screwed over by the system, and for much longer than any actual criminal ever would be... I've got plenty to say about that! Anyway, I had written two Spec. Scripts for The Simpsons at that time, so I asked him if I could put him in a script. He said yes, and about a month later we started seeing each other. (Best physique I have ever seen, by the way -- truly stunning! I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that! ha,ha,ha!)

Now here's an odd thing -- he always seemed to be sooo concerned that people (namely, women) would take advantage of him for his money. Maybe that's why he didn't give me a Christmas or Birthday gift, which is NOT okay, since that's just the kind thing to do. And he's the one who didn't give me a Ring (Rings are VERY important to me -- no ring, no fun! That sort of thing! ha,ha,ha! And YES, I DO have a LOT of Rings! Funny that you would ask me that?! ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!). It's not the value of the Ring -- it's the sign of a true commitment, otherwise, how do I really know your intentions, hmmmmm?? So when I met Dwight out here in Calgary (Ben lived in Ontario, Canada), and he asked me out for dinner, I glanced down at my hand and thought, "Hmmmf...no ring...", and so I agreed to have dinner with Dwight, and the rest is history.

So you can see that I'm a little bit of an oxy-moron unto myself! I absolutely advocate marrying (or being with in a stable relationship) a Wealthy Man, but in the true sense of the word 'wealth'. It's not just determined by money, nor is it determined by the amount of money -- just how you use it, accumulate it and most importantly, how you manage it.

(I wrote this while I was still married... am happily divorced, now, very easy divorce, no worries, but I still stand by finding a partner you can grow with and who will be supportive of you - for each of you... a whole lot of mutual support! lol!)



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