Build Your Own House, Body and Life!: Bridalplasty

Showing posts with label Bridalplasty. Show all posts

Monday, January 24, 2011

#Bridalplasty: Janessa Vs. Allyson, Fight Night #Weddings #Marriage #PlasticSurgery #Wine!

Bridalplasty - it's always playing SOMEWHERE in the world - lol!

So how the hell did Allyson get to be the final bride to get to choose the last two brides standing??? Seems grossly unfair, and I do mean 'grossly'... Why no competition to get to the Final Two?? What, did the producers of Bridalplasty think, 'Ah, screw it, let's just leave this up to...uh,... Allyson, she's such a hard worker. Why, the work ethic of Allyson is soo strong, she deserves to have the final say...'. Hmm. Seems highly questionable... as was the decision to have the girls ask each other the questions... hilarious. Even funnier that Janessa and booooring Dominique devised a clever little scheme that no-one could see through, no one would ever suspect, of rubbing their throats if they didn't know the answer, running their fingers through their hair if they did know the answer... and I didn't see anyone run their fingers through their hair, tonight!! But it did look like Janessa and Dominique had very, very scratchy throats! hahaha! Oh, these girls... they're soo entertaining!

And I've gotta say, I looved Dominique's sad, sad tale of sibling rivalry and sisterly jealousy, what with her horrible parents spending ALL their money on Dominique's SISTER'S wedding, leaving nothing for her parents to pay for HER wedding. Hmm. I'm just throwin' this out there, but isn't it 2011? Aren't women free to WORK for a living, and wouldn't it be wise to choose a man who has the ability to save a little money of his own, and, gasp, pay for your own wedding ?? hahaha! These goils! Hilarious that they want everyone else to do all the work for them, including losing the weight (Allyson, through the magic of liposuction -- exercise is such a hassle...)....

Poor Cheyenne, she had to go home, tonight, after so cruelly being asked too many questions she had no idea how to answer... 'What is your mother-in-law's middle name?' Man, I wouldda failed that, too, because, as you might have guessed, I gave my two mother-in-laws-to-be my own names for them... oh, dat not very nice!! But I had to keep myself amused, or else there wouldn't have BEEN a wedding, either time, if you knows what I mean!! The mother-in-law thing is not always as rosy as one might like it to be... and the only reason I can think of asking all those questions about names would be to decide on a name for future children, but the chances of a Mom naming her child after someone she actively tries to avoid... very slim odds on that! So I guess I wouldda failed that test, too! But something tells me that Cheyenne is okay for cash, and will definitely have a fancy wedding, and most likely, not at her own expense... and Cara, my lovely daughter (we watch all these shows together, and laugh and laugh, all very catty! lol!), was telling me that Cheyenne is from New Jersey, and then I said, oh, I thought Cheyenne was from Florida, since she has such a great tan, then I remembered (like a light bulb! haha!), GTL. Gym Tan Laundry, from our friends over at the Jersey Shore... but in Cheyenne's case, it would have to just be 'GT', Gym Tan, since we all know Cheyenne hates doing da laundry! haahaha! (Otay, sowwy, dat joke is jus' for me! I tryin' to make meself laugh!! Cheer meself up!!)

So Allyson, all powered up, chooses her 'nemesis', Janessa to go to the Finals next week. Think the producers told her to do that?? Man, that irks me that there wasn't a fair competition... I looved the flower arranging competition, with duller-than-sin Mary-Beth... no, that's not right, that just sounds like a dull name (sorry, all the Mary-Beths who have just stopped reading me blog!!) Lisa Marie... I knew it was a double-barrelled name... but remember when Lisa Marie just couldn't figure out how to put some flowers together into a bouquet?? Hilarious! I love that level of incompetence -- it's endlessly amusing to me! hahaha! Reminds me of the games they used to play on Monty Python, where the idiots would run the course, try to stop and take a ladies bra off a dummy, and would struggle and struggle... all the Monty Python fans will remember that scene! So silly! lol!

Only one week to go... who will win the fanciest schmanciest wedding, ever?? Will it be Janessa or Allyson?? Could you tell from the bride walking down the aisle at the end of the show? She had mega-skinny shoulders, so it is either Janessa, or Allyson has had the al the fat liposuctioned away, so now she looks just like Janessa!! haha! Well, I guess we'll know soon enough, and THEN what will we watch? The Kardashians?? lol! (Yes, of course we will watch the Kardashians.. we're trying to see just how big is Kim's behind, now??? hahahaha! It's the important questions I ask!! hahaha!) xox! My favourite books to start with, with Louise Hay - You Can Heal Your Life - brilliant, and it really WILL change your life... and Meditations for Daily Living - think that's the right title - is so lovely, you'll love it - all very heartwarming, very clarifying... and Louise Hay has a tiny little book, I Can Do It - looove it, you'll love it, too... I love all of Louise's books... so lovely and life-changing : ) http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.ca/2014/11/you-can-heal-your-life-by-louise-l-hay.html

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

#Bridalplasty: Lies Janessa Told Me... or To Tell the Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth... #Marriage #Weddings And #Wine! : )

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Bridalplasty - It's Always Playing SOMEWHERE...lol!

So Janessa's not satisfied with her sex life?? Ruh-roh! I think that comes under the category: Things Not to Say to Your Fiance, shortly before the wedding...! And Allyson isn't satisfied with her sex life, either?? And neither is Kristen's Fiance?? Man, those are some seriously young people to be malcontents in the bedroom (or kitchen, but obviously not the laundry room, for Cheyenne, who sounds like she wouldn't be caught dead in da laundry room... and her fiance is piiisssed about that!! haha! Come on, Cheyenne's a Fancy Girl. They're traditionally not that great at household chores... and I loved the whole line of questioning, for their special lie detector tests, about whether they got along with their in-laws.. who cares?? There would maybe be three weddings per year, if everyone loved their in-laws, and had no problems, at all... marriage isn't about being perfect, it's about being as happy as you can, and finding a nice middle road where you can enjoy being together, working together toward common goals... blah, blah, blah... okay, a lot of getting married is to get out of the dating field! hahahaha! Noooo, I kid. It's all about love, and you know it!! (lol!)

Sooo, when does it pay to tell the truth in a relationship? Hmmmm... well.... in a marriage, sometimes little white lies, lies of ommission, are there to save the marriage. Your partner sucks in bed (or doesn't...), if you're planning to stay in the marriage, or still hoping the marriage will go through, keep that secret to yourself... maybe tell your best friend, if they can keep their mouth shut, but otherwise, you'll just be hurting someone's feelings (and maybe you're marrying someone, or are married to someone, for different reasons, like their money... buh-dum-bum! hahaha!). (I love yo'..... (big pause).... money... hey, it happens! More often than not!)

Hey, you know a great way to learn about sex? That's right, read about it! hahaha! I call that 'safe sex'!! Gee, I was sure there was a book called 'The Story of J', or 'The Story of M'... man, canny remember, now, it's been about 25 years since I've read those!! (Although, I suppose I could write my own 'Story of M', but that might make him mad!! hahaha! Whatever.. that's where those little white lies come in, right? They're handy, and useful... and the truth just gets you into trouble, anyway, occasionally...! lol! Okay, hope the book covers weren't too graphic for you!! Sowwwy! And I've never read the 'new' Story of O, so might check that out, meself...

Wow, did you see Allyson's new teeth?? Why didn't she get that done, first, in case she had been voted off, earlier?? But that was heartwarming, to see Allyson get her teeth all fixed up, but a sad statement on American Healthcare, and Dental Health in the US, that she had been walking around with decayed teeth and abscessed teeth... that's horrifying. In a First World Country, for Goodness Sake. Was that a personal choice, or aren't there dental schools, or some low-cost dentistry that might be available?? Man, good, healthy teeth can't only be for the well-employed or the wealthy. That's crazy. So I was very, very happy to see Allyson get a whole new set of teeth -- she looked great! And her cheeks look really nice, now, too --Allyson's the one with the most obvious improvements in the whole Bridalplasty House...

Ruh-roh, really hope those pictures aren't too terrible for you!! The cover used to be really plain, so you could read it on the bus, no worries!! Now you'll never be able to read this on the bus -- maybe you can read it on the plane!! The person beside you is sure to give you a little extra room -- or way less room, if you know what I mean! (Yick!! How often have you sat next to someone attractive on a plane?? Well, now that I think of it, I guess I have sat next to some very attractive men, over the years.. and once, when I happened to be traveling First Class... a long story... the fellow I was sitting beside had proposed by the end of the flight, but back then, in my late twenties and early thirties, that was sort of par for the course... I've had a lot of proposals over the years (lol!)... not sure why they're not pouring in, anymore!! Boooo! I like being given the choice of a proposal! haha! They're fun! (Oh, most of the proposals stopped after I got married! hahaha! But I'm divorced, now, so you'd think they wouldda started up again, right?? lol!)

Okay, I've probably said too much! Or not quite enough.. lol! Go have some fun and make an indecent proposal of your own... or make the proposal and then have some decent fun... for the more traditional folks in da house!! xox!

Oh, I almost forgot! Kristen was finally voted off Bridalplasty, tonight! Finally! But not to worry, she will probably, perhaps, maybe have a perfect wedding, after all! haha! And her new boobs'll lead the way down the aisle.. maybe her fiance will be happier with her when she gets home... poor kid! Kristen needs a nicer fiance! Marriage is a loooong commitment (sometimes! lol!), so you gotta choose someone who really loves you, and he didn't seem all that loving to me... but a starter Marriage works, too... learn the ropes, move on to a bigger and better marriage the second time, around.. just imagine how great I'll be at marriage, now, when I go into my THIRD marriage (no, not yet... I waitin' for a proposal!! Okay, you got me, I waitin' for some better dates!! hahaha!)... Ailsa xox

My favourite books to start with, with Louise Hay - You Can Heal Your Life - brilliant, and it really WILL change your life... and Meditations for Daily Living - think that's the right title - is so lovely, you'll love it - all very heartwarming, very clarifying... and Louise Hay has a tiny little book, I Can Do It - looove it, you'll love it, too... I love all of Louise's books... so lovely and life-changing : ) http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.ca/2014/11/you-can-heal-your-life-by-louise-l-hay.html

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Sunday, December 5, 2010

#Bridalplasty... Forget the New Nose... Who's First for a New Brain?? #lol!

Oh, Bridal Plasty, my favorite new show... forget the New Nose, who's first for a New Brain?? lol! But to showcase these brilliant, beautiful young women, and in such a lovely light.... they all seem so perfect, except that they need a ton o' Plastic Surgery to make them palatable enough to get married, and for Kristen to be pliable enough for her new husband-to-be, Brandon (Loser Brandon? I didn't catch his first name, but I think that's probably right ... lol!) to have sex with her whenever he wants... ugh! But wait a minute, isn't it 2010?? Maybe he forgot it's a two person deal... they need to decide together it's a great thing to do when they both want to do it, right? Yuuuuck! She's in for a crappy marriage, fer sures, AND he wants her to clean up the house and not partake in any bodily functions.. now who's stuck in the Dark Ages?? Ick. Some of these girls need to transplant their fiance, not their own body parts... have a waaay better life ... just a quick removal of about 185 ugly, chauvinistic, pounds outta do it! One quick cut, done! Pees coot, you're oot!!

But these girls are in it to win it.. get that fancy big wedding, and fix themselves up... so which girls do you think really need some improvements? Most of them really are pretty, and really skinny -- did you check them out in their bikinis?? WTF?? What do they want done?? You'll go under the knife for a free ring and a wedding dress? They all look fine to me... nothing a little make up and some more hair extensions (perhaps a few trips to the gym and a slight change to the bag-o-dorritos for lunch diet?? haha!)... did you notice when Debbie Downer (the ever-cheery Allyson) (see, tonight I know all of their names, because now they're all kind of annoying, in their own right -- but a great kind of annoying -- my favorite kind!! lol!) ... anyway, when Allyson just got out the shower, complaining about something or other (always something to go wrong!! yippee!), and hardly has any hair?? Yick. When do the hair extensions go in? When your hair is dry? And are they that easy to use? Really, Allyson needs some personal therapy, a good diet and enough education to get a decent job... start there, see how your life changes, Allyson... and the boyfriend could try the same things! What? Two employed people in a functional relationship? Hmmm....now there's a novel idea!

So, of course, my favorite girl of da night is Alexandra. Omg. She is brilliant. Not only that, but in her own words, "I feel that I am a really well writer, a well speaker"... yep. I rewound it to hear it, again, it was sooo funny! But here's what I don't understand. These are people who have only ONE language -- English. They were born and raised in a country where English is the predominant language... she was educated in English, most likely graduated, and canny speak'a da language. Is that because some people never read books?? How is it possible, to be that stupid?? I'm thinking, skip the surgery to get the skin removed from your massive weight loss on another TV show, and go straight for the Brain Transplant... might be worth a shot! lol! Poor kid. Maybe some elocution lessons, a few grammar lessons, and perhaps some tatoo removal might be in order to 'class' these girls up a little... My Fair Lady-style! I loooved that movie, so clearly I'm very intrigued by how a person can change for the better! (or worse... depending on the audience, no doubt!)

That was soo sad, when Cheyenne came back from having her nose done, and all the girls were sooo jealous of her being in the Recovery Room... "oooh, I wanna be in the Recovery Room!!" Ruh-roh! I just don't get it, though -- these girls look so normal and pretty to me... what on earth do they want done?? And is it just me, or do some of these girls look like the come from Money? Right? Doesn't Jessica have a job, or if her fiance (the jerk, I'll call him, because I canny remember his name... but, again, I feel there is a fair bit of accuracy in my choice of names for him..) is in the NHL, since he wants her to vow that he is the bestest hockey player in the whole wide world... hmmm. Maybe the NHL missed him? They're crazy like that, always ignoring the best players, out in their back yard ice rinks, playing all by themselves, because all their old friends hate listening to the 'I couldda been' stories... why, it's like I know people like this! hahaha! I grew up on hockey, so I looove it, and love a great hockey player, and he didn't strike me as one of them...

And then, Janessa, oh what a lovely personality, so that doesn't need to be fixed, fer sures... I loved her line, 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'. Really? Did she plan that stooopid hairstyle? Maybe stop wearing your hair like a three-year old, see how that goes... she looked completely different with her hair up, but then, the second she opens her mouth, and whatever spills out is sooo stoopid, who cares what kind of plastic surgery she gets... but I love that she fancies herself a General, in charge of all the girls... "they're following me like little puppies".... don't throw little puppies under the bus, like that! We looove little puppies! They're soo cute! I even put some on my page for you to look at (okay, I put them on my page so I could look at them, but, still, maybe you like puppies, too! lol!)... but I hope to God that Janessa does not come anywhere close to winning... although, I do love it when the crazies stay on the longest... makes the show more fun to watch! Okay, enjoy looking at your own perfect self in the mirror! No changes necessary! Know Thyself, Love Thyself... is that how the saying goes?? Does it say anything about eating more chocolate?? I hope so! I don't wanna change! lol! To Your Great Beauty on the Inside and the Outside... Ailsa xox!

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