Oh, Bridal Plasty, my favorite new show... forget the New Nose, who's first for a New Brain?? lol! But to showcase these brilliant, beautiful young women, and in such a lovely light.... they all seem so perfect, except that they need a ton o' Plastic Surgery to make them palatable enough to get married, and for Kristen to be pliable enough for her new husband-to-be, Brandon (Loser Brandon? I didn't catch his first name, but I think that's probably right ... lol!) to have sex with her whenever he wants... ugh! But wait a minute, isn't it 2010?? Maybe he forgot it's a two person deal... they need to decide together it's a great thing to do when they both want to do it, right? Yuuuuck! She's in for a crappy marriage, fer sures, AND he wants her to clean up the house and not partake in any bodily functions.. now who's stuck in the Dark Ages?? Ick. Some of these girls need to transplant their fiance, not their own body parts... have a waaay better life ... just a quick removal of about 185 ugly, chauvinistic, pounds outta do it! One quick cut, done! Pees coot, you're oot!!
But these girls are in it to win it.. get that fancy big wedding, and fix themselves up... so which girls do you think really need some improvements? Most of them really are pretty, and really skinny -- did you check them out in their bikinis?? WTF?? What do they want done?? You'll go under the knife for a free ring and a wedding dress? They all look fine to me... nothing a little make up and some more hair extensions (perhaps a few trips to the gym and a slight change to the bag-o-dorritos for lunch diet?? haha!)... did you notice when Debbie Downer (the ever-cheery Allyson) (see, tonight I know all of their names, because now they're all kind of annoying, in their own right -- but a great kind of annoying -- my favorite kind!! lol!) ... anyway, when Allyson just got out the shower, complaining about something or other (always something to go wrong!! yippee!), and hardly has any hair?? Yick. When do the hair extensions go in? When your hair is dry? And are they that easy to use? Really, Allyson needs some personal therapy, a good diet and enough education to get a decent job... start there, see how your life changes, Allyson... and the boyfriend could try the same things! What? Two employed people in a functional relationship? Hmmm....now there's a novel idea!
So, of course, my favorite girl of da night is Alexandra. Omg. She is brilliant. Not only that, but in her own words, "I feel that I am a really well writer, a well speaker"... yep. I rewound it to hear it, again, it was sooo funny! But here's what I don't understand. These are people who have only ONE language -- English. They were born and raised in a country where English is the predominant language... she was educated in English, most likely graduated, and canny speak'a da language. Is that because some people never read books?? How is it possible, to be that stupid?? I'm thinking, skip the surgery to get the skin removed from your massive weight loss on another TV show, and go straight for the Brain Transplant... might be worth a shot! lol! Poor kid. Maybe some elocution lessons, a few grammar lessons, and perhaps some tatoo removal might be in order to 'class' these girls up a little... My Fair Lady-style! I loooved that movie, so clearly I'm very intrigued by how a person can change for the better! (or worse... depending on the audience, no doubt!)
That was soo sad, when Cheyenne came back from having her nose done, and all the girls were sooo jealous of her being in the Recovery Room... "oooh, I wanna be in the Recovery Room!!" Ruh-roh! I just don't get it, though -- these girls look so normal and pretty to me... what on earth do they want done?? And is it just me, or do some of these girls look like the come from Money? Right? Doesn't Jessica have a job, or if her fiance (the jerk, I'll call him, because I canny remember his name... but, again, I feel there is a fair bit of accuracy in my choice of names for him..) is in the NHL, since he wants her to vow that he is the bestest hockey player in the whole wide world... hmmm. Maybe the NHL missed him? They're crazy like that, always ignoring the best players, out in their back yard ice rinks, playing all by themselves, because all their old friends hate listening to the 'I couldda been' stories... why, it's like I know people like this! hahaha! I grew up on hockey, so I looove it, and love a great hockey player, and he didn't strike me as one of them...
And then, Janessa, oh what a lovely personality, so that doesn't need to be fixed, fer sures... I loved her line, 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'. Really? Did she plan that stooopid hairstyle? Maybe stop wearing your hair like a three-year old, see how that goes... she looked completely different with her hair up, but then, the second she opens her mouth, and whatever spills out is sooo stoopid, who cares what kind of plastic surgery she gets... but I love that she fancies herself a General, in charge of all the girls... "they're following me like little puppies".... don't throw little puppies under the bus, like that! We looove little puppies! They're soo cute! I even put some on my page for you to look at (okay, I put them on my page so I could look at them, but, still, maybe you like puppies, too! lol!)... but I hope to God that Janessa does not come anywhere close to winning... although, I do love it when the crazies stay on the longest... makes the show more fun to watch! Okay, enjoy looking at your own perfect self in the mirror! No changes necessary! Know Thyself, Love Thyself... is that how the saying goes?? Does it say anything about eating more chocolate?? I hope so! I don't wanna change! lol! To Your Great Beauty on the Inside and the Outside... Ailsa xox!
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