Hey, Baby, What's Your Sign?? lol!

OMG, how are you gonna define yourself, now???  Will you have to run out and get a whole new set of jewelry to match your new sign?? And can you imagine how noisy the bars are gonna be all around the world, this weekend, jam packed full of "Hey, Baby, what's your sign?", but with people genuinely interested to hear what the other person says, this time (as opposed to just some general oggling in their direction!! lol!). And how many people are gonna break out their
Linda Goodman's Sun Signs book, this weekend??  Linda Goodman's Sun Signs is my all time favourite book for astrological signs.. it's accurate and hilarious... you'll have a riot reading it to yourself (please, try not to move yo' lips so obviously when you're reading to yourself....), but it's even more fun to read it to someone else...

So, what about the people who now fall under this new sign, Ophiuchus (Nov 29 - Dec 17).  Omg, they're gonna need a whole new wardrobe, and they'll have to go buy a bunch of brand new astrology books, trying to figure out who they are now, what kind of personality traits will they have, what kind of mate willl they be most compatable with, hmmm???  There are a lot of questions! Like, how do you pronounce Ophiuchus (Nov 29 - Dec 17)?? hahaha!  Awfi U cuss?? Maybe they cuss a lot... now maybe that's what I am, then.... lol! Oh, no, I hope there isn't a whole new generation of girls named Ophiuchus... poor kids who get crazy, jacked up names!  I like what I call 'Board Office' names for children.. I always thought it's good to give a kid a name that can take them far in life.. sometimes, and I mean only occassionally, Brandy or Cinnamon lead to, ah, well, toward a pole, with perhaps some fancy dancing involved.... but not much else... probably not the CEO of a National Company... but I've been proven wrong manys a time, soooo, maybe a Cinnamon Spice or a Brandy Alexandra would make it to the top... of something... and I hear there's pretty good job security, until you're 25... yuff, yuff!


So what's your new sign?  I'm Pisces, and identify very closely with my watery sign, but now it looks like I'm an Aquarius.... say it ain't so!  I looove swimmin', I wear dresses ALL the time, I'm a girlie girl (who's into construction... well, maybe that's my Aquarian side coming out!! hahaha!), I have a ton of Aquamarine Jewelry, which I feel makes me lucky, protects me (yes, sadly, I really do believe that, science be damned!! hahahaha!  Okay, that joke for me, keepin' meself amused while I write!! haha!).. and now what will I do with my favourite Fish Dress??  Does the the fish dress have to swim with the fishes, now?  I'll have to find out my new colours... hmm, what do Aquarians like to wear??  I hope they like BLUE!! haha!  Perhaps light blue, and deep blue... and maybe sky blue.. there's half of my closet, right there! hahaha!  Maybe we all fit into one another's signs, but we just don't know it, because we're so focussed on our own signs (and the signs of the one you love, or want to love, or used to love... come on, don't lie, you know you flip to that part of the horoscope, too... see what they're up to, hoping for good or bad, depending on what stage of relationship you're in with them!! Oh, human nature, it so betrays us, sometimes, don't it?? hahaha!).


Are you looking for all your family members, too?? Saying, 'Yep, she's a Leo, all right.  I'd recognize that mane, anywhere..."

Will be very intereesting to see what changes we see from the astrological community, and how long this new notion stays around... is this a fly-by-night idea, or is it here to stay?  I need to know, 'cause it's funny, I always looved the song, Aquarius..., A-quar-iii-uus... okay, well, you know I'm just singing, now.. wonder if that's an Aquarian trait, to burst into song at the drop of a hat??  Do they like hats?? So many questions about my New Life Identity!! 

Capricorn: Jan 20-Feb 16
Aquarius: Feb 16-March 11



Pisces: March 11-April 18

Aries: April 18-May 13

Taurus: May 13-June 20

Gemini: June 21-July 20

Cancer: July 20 - Aug 10

Leo: Aug 10-Sep 16

Virgo: Sep 16 - Oct 30


Libra: Oct 30 - Nov 23

Scorpio: Nov 23 - 29

Ophiuchus: Nov 29 - Dec 17

Sagittarius: Dec 17 - Jan 20


Your New Year's Horoscopes are here!! Yippee! Let's all have a great and truly HAPPY, HEALTHY and WEALTHY New Year!! (That's from me, Ailsa!! lol!)


I love to read my horoscope, and I'm pretty sure there are a few other zillion people,
or so, who love to read their horoscopes, too... nothing more fun than reading great things about yourself, ignoring the bad traits... "You're warm and caring, brilliant more than most people recognize (hey, is that a hidden bad trait?? haha!), charming to a fault (cheater??? lol!).... it's great to read about how incredibly wonderful you are!!  And then we immediately look up the horoscopes of the one you love, too.. or all the people you love! (hey, maybe you are 'charming to a fault'!! hahaha!)


And it's almost the Chinese New Year, and it's fun to read about your Chinese horoscopes, too, compare how the Western and Eastern horoscopes are similar... I'm a Rabbit, apparently, very lucky with an extreme love of a beautiful home (and like to procreate!) - they got that right!! haha!
 I wish you Much Love and Happiness, Great Health and Great Wealth, in 2011, Ailsa xox

You're Cut Off!! Spoiled Girls... Gone Bad?? hahaha!

Oh, you crazy spoiled girls with jacked up teeth... how'd you get on TV??  Mommy and Daddy paid your way?? hahahaha!  (Otay, dat joke jus' for me! haha!)  (That's what happens when I write when I'm giddy, sort of like the drunk girl ... now why is there always a drunk girl?? -- fighting over her baked potato... but didn't she lookmore stoned than drunk, or is that what the truly stooopid look like, when they're eating a baked potato with their mouth open???  Eeewww!  These 'rich girls' don't have any class... or maybe they dooo... you know what titles they scrubbed for You're Cut Off!? Classy Ladies.  Cleaning Chicks.  Women on the Move.  Rich Bitch... oh, wait, that one might still work... maybe for a spin off show! lol!

You know I love these reality shows, where everyone's there for the right reason, like the tall skinny one with the rapper boyfriend, who kept sayig she was spending soo much of his money -- really, do these really look like monied girls to you?  Nope.  Wel, the beauty pageant Queen with the hopes of being the President's wife... any president, or this president, 'cause she's gonna have a very big fight with Michelle Obama if she tries to go there..., plus, she'd have to get behind me and a zillion other women who have already thought of that during the election! hahaha! (Like the picture?? I just thought you might like a little look at a nice, handsome man... not for any of these crazy girls! hahaha!)





So, seriously, what was with al the jacked up teeth???  They have all that money for designer purses, designer shoes, and designer clothes, and all day at the spa (God, I hate going to the spa... I can't imagine a more annoying day...)  Okay, I'm up too late, and I was looking for a great designer purse for you, and I happened to come across this beeeauuuteeful Genuine Leather Belt Bag, for only $8.92.  Oh, I would die laughing if I could get one of these fancy schmancies to wear a fanny pack!! hahaha!  Now that really appeals to my sense of humor!

Hey, why don't any of these girls know how to do anything around the house??  That's pathetic.  Everyone needs to know the basics, in case your butler is out for the evening, or something, right?? haha!  Or maybe you haven't hired him, yet??  No worries, you will soon, and when you do, and he has his one night off a year (because you are nothing, if not caring...), and then your toilet seat falls off... and you happen to have a spare one lying about... how will you put it on??  And does that require actually touching said toilet???  Eeeewww!  No, not eeewww, just clean the damn thing, first, right??  Get your self a screw driver, a brain, and read the directions, and whammo, a usable toilet seat!!  See how easy??

Was interesting that they seemed to have to install their own shower head, too... you know that was one of the last things I got Dwight to show me, right before I left (he's my ex-husband, now, but still a great plumber! lol!)... anyway, I was crazy in love with... my shower head!!  No kidding!  It's a Kohler Showerhead, and I have literally brought it to every place I've lived for years and years... it's fantastic when you find a great showerhead, but it would be nice if I could find a marriage that would last longer than the showerhead, right?? hahahaha!

I'll do a new page, one day, and show you how to change your own showerhead, but basically, you unscrew the head of the showerhead (oh, yes, for da plumbing-impaired, turn da shower off, first... lol!!!), if it's one of those small showerheads, (I love an hand-held showerhead, of course!), then there are really only two sections to screw in... one onto the fixture on the wall (you can't possibly miss it, it's the big part), and the other is at the base of the showerhead, to attach the hose. It's really easy, and soon you'll be your own plumber!!  Go on and fire the butler!  He's always up in your business, anyway!! haha!



Well, I love these 'rich girls'... it makes me laugh, though, since the majority of truly rich girls don't spend a fortune on stuff that won't appreciate in value... they just don't.  They'll have some nice items in their closets, have a nice car, and most likely a lovely home (I hope!!), but wasting money on ridicuolous items is more likely done by people with the least amount of money to spend, trying to look rich. 

I remember this one time, in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, when Dwight and I were in the middle of building our gorgeous 5400 square foot home (which I designed!! Yahoo!), and I had on my boots, which mightta' had some mud on them, and I went into this jewelry store to buy something nice for my Mother, and the saleslady was sooo rude to me, when I was looking at the really pretty jewelry, the 'real' stones, and she told me I better move to the other end of the counter to the 'faux' jewelry... what a beee-yotch.  She was so condescending, looking down at my boots in disgust.  I looked right at her and said, "I own all the mud on these boots", and walked out, and never shopped there, again.  I hate when salespeople treat their customers, any customer, with disdain.  Nope.  Not okay. Just be nice, 'cause you don't know what any one person really has... same thing goes for when you're dating.  The guy with the fancy sports car often has less to offer (in a variety of ways!) than the man in the truck! hahahaha!  (Okay, you got me, I love a man with a truck, and not just because he can help me carry building supplies back to the house!! hahaha!) (Oooh, this picture makes me miss my old house, and my old life.. but I'd definitely like to build this house, again, but the next time I build it, I'd like to build over the 4 car garage, since that's very useful space over a garage (just raise the roofline), make it a one and a half storey, so I can have a balcony over the kitchen and living room, and I would put the sunroom (I have to have a sunroom!!) off the living room, I think... or off the office... I've drawn it out, just a matter of figuring out where we'd like to live, for sure (I'm leaning strongly toward Southern Ontario, Canada, where I was raised....), but you never know, maybe ther's somewhere else for me to live, somewhere sunny?? hahaha! 

Okay, I canny wait to see what crazy foibles these rich girls get themselves into, and I hope they serve more boxed wine.. only da classiest wine for da classiest ladies!! lol!

#Bridalplasty: Janessa Rules Again!! It's Good to Be Queen! lol! #PlasticSurgery #Weddings

Bridalplasty - It's Always Playing Somewhere! lol! 

Janessa had to switch teams, tonight, 'cause she just couldn't keep saving down-in-the-dumps Lisa Marie (aka: The Cockroach, poor boring girl....)... man, has there ever been such a dull girl??  But I loooved it when Lisa Marie turns into a tyrant when her mother-in-law to be shows up, and they have to do the 'photo shoot' together, down at Venice Beach.... hilarious!

So it was finally time to give up the goat, so-to-speak, and vote Lisa Marie out.... now she'll have her wedding, but it just won't be perfect... lol!  What a horrible thing to say to someone, about to get married! "Too bad you still a fatty with a normal nose..." That's horrible... these crazy girls!  What did Lisa Marie want done, anyway?  I have a sneaking feeling that she secretly thinks she's a sexy diva (did you catch the icky cleavage shot when she was sitting at the RSVP Table?? hahaha! Ick.  Usually it's great to see some cleavage, but on some women, let's just say, repulsive women, it just makes you feel queasy to get an accidental peak -- yuck!! Cover up, Lisa Marie... you were right, all along, to dress like a mennonite lady... (no, that's not a mennonite lady posing in da picture beside me, here... she's probably Presbyterian, because I don't think we have very tight rules about that.. I'll be sure to ask when I go at Easter... lol!)

(Oh, no, I just realized I didn't mention about the mother-in-laws coming to town!!  I wrote a whole thing about how to get along with your in-laws... usually, it's waay harder to get along with your mother-in-law than it is to get along with your father-in-law, but I've had some trouble with them both, so maybe you'll find a few words of wisdom, or at least have a few laughs, know that someone else has been in your shoes, and survived, and you will, too! lol!)



How stoopid do you think these girls are, on average?  Very stooopid, a little stupi, just not-good-with-numbers?? hahaha! Really, they couldn't do a little math on the car ride to Venice Beach??  Add up the point system for the photos, in advance?? I know, I know, beauty before brains... or is that the wrong away around?  Not here in Hollywood!  Beauty first, forget everything else... and will be waaay easier to convince them to do work that could be life-threatening, for the sake of the show... and is it true that Cheyenne actually wants liposuction??  On her thighs???  Can you even see them??  These poor girls -- are they constantly looking in mirrors, unhappy with themselves?  And if they're getting married, doesn't the fiance already love them, or do you think they have those gross men, who are all fat and gross, themselves, who demand 'their girl' to be perfect, al the time.  God knows there are a lot of those men, around.. ick.  In fact, they're usually the most hideous guys who think they deserve to be with the best women.. uh, no.  Shut up and be thankful any girl is looking your way... usually the handsome fellows are much more self-satisfied, so they're more normal to be with... some food for thought, ladies!! haha!  (And healthier food than a bag full of Doritos! lol!)

I keep looking at Allyson's arms, and they look a whole lot like they looked, before.  And she says she's always had flabby arms... why??  Really, it never occurred to her to get off the couch and lift something up?  Not ever?? In 20 years??  How old is she??  Man, I should look that up... wait, I got a computer... I look dat up fer youse, right now!! I'll be riiiight back!  Otay, lookie what I found for you... or maybe this is already your homepage... (lol!) http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/bridalplasty/cast_bios.html  It's E! Online, and they have the pics and bios of all the Bridalpasty girls!  WooHoo!  So, it turns out, Allyson is the ripe old age of 32... I get to say 'ripe old age', becasue I'm 47, sooooo, well, maybe I get to say that! lol!

So here's the craziest thing that juuust happened, when I went on my search (for you!) to find out how old Allyon is.. I typed into Google, Bridal Plasty: how old is Allyson, and whose site comes up on the very first page??  MINE!!!  Yippee!  Thank you!  Enough people must have clicked on me little site to put it right up there, and here's what's really funny... my other site, http://www.buildyourownhouse.ca/ , is on the first google page, too, and my daughter, Cara, her site is on Google page three!!  Yahoo! That's huuuge!  Couple o' little Canadian girls go big on da internet highway!! Funny!! No we just have to figure out how to make a little money at this game, and we're all set!! haha!

Okay, enough about meee... now there's something you'll never hear uttered in the Bridalplasty house!! Oh, and turns out that Bridal Plasty is one word... who knew?? Not me, apparently! lol! So now I'll have to fix it on my pages...

I wish they would pan the camera back just a little bit from lovely Kristen. What a beautiful personality -- she's charming, realy. Calling Lisa Marie a cockroach... hmmm.  Now there's a name I've never given anyone, but I can see where it might fit it for some particularly annoying folks, so maybe I keep dat one up me sleeve for a special occasion, like when I'm on-camera, in the kitchen, in front of other girls who like her... oh, and did I say how smart Kristen is, too? Smart. Like a whip. Or whip cream... yeah, more like whip cream, now that I think of it... lol! Silly girls!  But did you know she comes from a line of Beauty Queens, and won a pageant, herself??  How crazy is that, and that's who's lining up for plastic surgery??  Say it ain't so! 

I am endlessly interested in Veneers, and how they do them... was that really a one day affair??  I thought they whittled down your teeth until they're like little stubs, then put the new veneers on top of the stubs?  Your close friends could call you stubby, and maybe get away with it.. oh, well, they might be callin' you stubby behind yer back, anyway, so they ARE getting away with it!! Can you believe your friends would talk about you like that???  Behind yer back??  I hope you take some action, stubby, and dinny let them get away with that! (yuff-yuff!!)

There, now don't say I never help you... here's a quick and easy way to fix yer teeth, for a fraction of the cost, and if you happen to be watching The Bachelor, too, and you, too, would like to look like Vampira (really, I haven't bothered to learn the Vampire girl's name, because, primarily, I'm interested in her teeth! hahaha!)

Okay, I have to go to bed.... I still have to go to work for a living (dammit!!), otherwise, I would stay here and talk to you, all night... you go on and sleep, that's okay, I'll be right here, whenever you wake up!! lol!  Go be happy with yourself!!  Go check out how slim your ankles are!!  (I secretly hopin' they not 'cankles!!'  Try to focus in on how lovely your eyebrows look, today... they key is to focus on the good parts, do what you can to change the bits you'd like to change, and accept yourself as the lovely creature you are, baby!!  xox!  (Oh, did you notice how I've learned how to add some pretty pictures, to keep your attention from fading while you read??  Your welcome!! hahaha!) Ttys! Ailsa xox!
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