The Bachelorette: Ashley and Bentley, Sitting in a Tree..... or is she out on a limb??

Oh, Ashley, poor little Ashley... she's in the middle of a storm of unrequited love with that loser, Bentley... or is Bentley smarter than we thought??  Pretty clever, to get on TV, be the most talked-about Bachelorette Contestant in ages, and he hasn't even told us what business it was he wanted to promote... and I'd like to know! Luckily for us, we'll maybe get to find out, because is Bentley actually coming back on the show?? Say it ain't so.... oooh, that crazy Bachelorette! 

Of course, he'll only be on to further his fame, but little Ashley won't perceive it like that, not at all... the poor girl is smitten.  But smitten after only a few weeks?  Man, I can hardly remember relationships I've had for years! hahahahaha!  Okay, that's just for my own amusement... and partly because I had THE most bizarre 'old boyfriend' crap happen to me a couple of weeks ago, no kidding... I got an email from an old (and I mean OLD) boyfriend, to let me know he just got married.  I wrote back, congratulations.... this was followed by THE meannest email from him, listing all the reaons why I didn't marry him.. talk about stored up anger... now, it might be of interest to let you know I was a TEENAGER when I went out with this now-lunatic, and he's well into his FIFTIES... yuuuuck!  And RECENTLY MARRIED.. .. gross!!!  He should be concentrating on his new marriage, not reminiscing about some crap that went down thirty years ago... crazy.  Crazy with a capital 'C'.... the kind of Crazy you'd move to another country to avoid (but maybe that's just me! hahaha!)  So get this.... his big claim to fame, and Very Good Reason for why I should have married him was that he WASHED THE DISHES.  Oh, yes.  I did miss out on quite a catch, right there.... silly me.  Too bad they invented dishwashers, and NORMAL men, so I didn't HAVE to marry that Crazy.... man, the things people hold on to, but that's what happens in unrequited love... the one person keeps on loving the other person, looong after the one who's lost interest has moved along.... (can you tell how furious I was at all that crap being dragged to the surface after 30 years??  Who does that??  Someone who needs a boatload o' therapy, that's who.... lol!) (Oh, and for the record, I don't really think anyone, let alone meeee, is 'old' unless they infuriate me -- any age will do -- or they are approaching 160 years old... and I will change that number as I get closer to 160 years old, too! lol!)

But, alas, unrequited love happens to the best of us, and it's definitely happened to me, too, twice that I can think of... and I think I might have caused it a few times, to... what can I say, I love to love ya', baby! hahahaha! (Yep, I grew up in da '70s!! lol!)  But unrequited love is sooo hard to deal with.  It hurts.  Poor Ashley, she can't get over Bentley because it just happened (literally, last week! lol!), so she hasn't had a chance to work her way through it, try to come out the other side a healthier person... not, yet, anyway.  I always think, the very best way to get over your unrequited love is to find an even bigger, better, love, get swept away by the next person you fall in love with (yes, there will always be another person for you out there... that's a big load of BS that there's only ONE person for every ONE individual... puh-leeease, there are billions of us on the planet, there'll be a whole pile of 'someone elses' for you, it's just a waiting game, like fishing... just cast your net forth, see what you can drag back in! lol! Noooo, don't drag anything in... just go about your business, enjoy your life, and the next 'right one' will come along, you'll see...

So now I'm excited to see what will happen next week on The Bachelorette... it was looking pretty pathetic, there, for a bit, where, basically, it was a free trip around the world for a great group of handsome men, and one little love-lost girl named Ashley... but she seemed to come alive a bit for her 'golf lesson' with Lucas, and she has a little connection with Ben F.  Hey, am I the only one who notices that they don't seem to take any note of 'the help'??  Seems pretty awful.  You can tell a LOT about someone's character by the way they treat the waiter or waitress, and anyone else who is helping them in some way.... it only takes a second to be nice and polite, and people who are dismissive are jerks (really, you know the word I'd really like to use...).  It's always interesting to me who thinks they are 'above' being nice... ugh.  They're horrible people.  Everyone should have to do some sort of Service work in their life so they will always be kind to their server... and will leave a decent tip, too (just had to throw that in there! lol!).

But I digress (whaaaat??).... the thing I want to see, next week on The Bachelorette, is how the other guys will react to Bentley being there, in the hotel, and Ashley leaping up on him (is this something tiny people do?  I don't recall doing this in my life... maybe at a fancy cocktail party, or an upscale wine and cheese, but nowhere else, I'm pretty sure.. hahahahaha!).  Women may be more likely to forgive an unrequited love situation, and try for the guy, anyway, but will the men do the same?  I'm not sure, that's why I need to watch, see if I can learn a little something about men, since they are often like a little mystery to me! hahaha! 

So, if you happen to be dealing with a little unrequited love, right now, and can't quite seem to get over a lost love, and you're doing like little Ashley, and constantly thinking of that person, try changing your thoughts to, 'oh, I'm thinking about that, again.. I'll think about flowers, or money, or business, or whatever else you like to think about... but NOT that person.... if that person wants you, you'll know it.  Better yet, they'll let you know it.  You're much better to get on with your life, find someone waaaay better, maybe rub it in their nose, or something... see, I'm full of great and very mature ideas! hahahaha!  Nooo, I kid.... just move on and be happy.  I hope Ashley learns that lesson while she still has all those eligible bachelors there... those are some seriously nice fellows, and she could be really happy with one of them... if she can leave Bentley behind.... Good Luck, L'il Ashley!!    Ailsa xox

The Bachelorette: Ah, Phuket...

Is that what everyone is saying about The Bachelorette, this season, 'Ah, Phuket'??  Wait, how do you pronounce that?  With a hard 'P', you say?? Oh, sorry.  My bad.  I thought it was an 'F'-it sound.... and maybe people still watching The Bachelorette think the same thing, too.... lol!

So what's the deal with little, tiny, teensy, Ashley?  Is she a dentist or a dancer??  How come they made her out to be a dentist on the Bachelor with Brad Womack, and this season on The Bachelorette, she's suddenly a 'dancer', with what looks to be about one good move... that thrusting your hips forward in a half walk, half dance-thing... I was tyring it on the weekend, when we were out for a hike (was beautilful... Kenneth Hahn Park in Los Angeles, the 'Walk for Health' section of the park... stunningly gorgeous, if you're looking for something fun and healthy to do...).  Anyway, I just look like an idiot trying that sh*t, but, you know, I'll do anything for a laugh, but I would never bother me asss to do that for real -- would be too stupi!  haha!

So little Ashley, who is now seen primarily in bikinis, to prove to the guys that she really is a girl... look, a bikini, I'm a girl!!  Come on, get interested!! Sad.  Not good.  Even Neanderthal Ned think 'Not Good'. Ashley's all depressed that loser Bentley is gone... that creep.  Ugh.  Oh, if only Bentley were here, what would my trip to PHUKET be like.... and I'm sure all the rest of the guys are thinking the same thing... and some have even mentioned they're there for a free trip around the world -- why not?  It's not their fault Ashley falls for all the losers...

We only got about halfway through the episode of The Bachelorette, last night, then switched over to The Housewives of Orange County, having yet another fight... was much better TV than Ashley looking forlorn over Bentley not being in Phuket... (can you tell I love the mispronunciation of that name?? hahahaha!  Makes me laugh!)  We left off where Ashley is on her date with Ames, who seems like a nice enough fellow... he looks like the kind of guy I went to University with (I went to Queen's University, in Kingston, Ontario, Canada)... smart, good looking, monied, can get any girl he wants in his normal life, probably doesn't treat women very well because of that... unfortunate stereotype, but usually true... but he has to really work to get Ashley's attention, since her mind is in Utah...hmmmm.  Those guys love a good chase, so we'll see what happens, there... he seems like a good guy, though.  Not like loser William... man, say something horrible to Ashley, she's yours for life.  What's that all about??  Ugh.  Women need to know, if he says something mean in his pick-up line, like, 'you probably think you're too good for me' (that's a standard line for abusers, too, ladies...), or actively says something mean about you to catch your attention, run away.  At the very least, turn your back.  It will only get much, much worse... this type of guy preys on the insecurities of these women.  Terrible, but true.

I liked that Ames was talking about family life on the date... at least he's thinking of that, and marriage, when that's what they're supposed to be there for, in the first place... but how many men a night does she kiss??  (Reminds me of the old 'mennonite' joke... How many Mennonites did she go out with?  3 mennonite... buh-dum-bum... haha!  It's an oldie but a goodie... really, it doesn't take much to make me laugh, clearly! haha!)  So are the producers telling Ashley to get in there and get to kissin' these guys, or does it all come naturally?? haha!!  Yuck!!  Kissing is such an intimate thing... and with one guy after another... yick.  How many will she want to take to the Fantasy Suites?? hahahahaha!   

We'll keep watching The Bachelorette, of course... I'm always curious how it will work out.... I like Ben F. (looks like Dax Sheppard, and I really think he's cute... very funny guy...), and I like that Ryan guy with the Solar Panel Industry... good for him for helping the planet, and I looove Solar Energy, and any other kind of natural energy (especially Wind, Sun and Earth... Geothermal... that's stuff is waaay cool, fer sures!).

I don't see any connection with the other dentist... she barely talks to him.  I love my dentists... they're such nice fellows, and they are highly skilled conversationalists, so that makes no sense... they're so good at chatting away to you while you're getting your teeth done... is a great skill! She really seems to be distancing herself from her career in dentistry... that's bizarre, since that's what she talked about most on the last season of the Bachelor with Brad... hmmmm. Well, we'll see what happens, next week... oh, and my favourite 'Bachelorette Moment' happened with Jimmy Kimmel, when he came on the screen right after Bentley had been such a bashtard, Jimmy Kimmel turns to the camera, and says what a jerk-loser Bentley is... so we've been watching Jimmy Kimmel every since .. sooo funny!

Does Email Run Your Life?? How I Broke My Email Addiction... lol!

So I just came back from a little 'Internet Vacation', and by internet vacation, I mean, I was harshly, brutally, removed from my precious internet connection, and all the joys and woes that brings me, when my modem went out, and could not be reconnected to the internet, no matter how hard I tried to make it connect.  Ugh.  I know, I felt sorry for me, too!  It was awful, at first, like coming off crack, or something (I'm kidding ... who can afford crack cocaine, these days?? hahahaha!)... I thought I was gonna lose my mind, I was so frantic about trying to make the modem work, again.  Also, I wasn't completely sure which box was the modem -- hahahaha!  Everyone makes the happy assumption that since I have these giant websites online, that surely I must know at least the bottom line basics of the computer, but, nope!  I don't.  Sometimes I think I do, but I always like to have a whole lot of clarification to make sure what I think is right, is in fact in any way correct... is a slight problem for me, as you might well imagine! haha!


The first two days were definitely the worst... I was going back and forth to my local Time Warner office, to get a new modem, but I have all three things set up through Time Warner.. my phone, my TV cable (which I did not want to jeopardize, fer sures, since it turns out I'm waaay more addicted to my favourite Cable TV shows (and I NEED every one of my 1,000 channels -- they're important to me, I need to see what all is on that I don't want to watch... but I also loove DVR, so when I finally do find my favourite programs, I can tape them all for later....right now, I'm on an I Dream of Jeannie kick, since it's on TVLAND, and is even funnier than I remember it to be... plus, it reminds me of one of my favourite machines in Vegas, the I Dream of Jeannie Slot Machine -- sooo much fun!  Next time you're in Vegas, search it out, you'll laugh yourself silly, while singing along to the theme song... I assume you'll be drunk by the time you've been at the casino for the amount of time it'll take you to find the I Dream of Jeannie machine... I know I always am! hahaha! I'm just amusing myself, now! lol!) 

But I digress... now that's never happened, before... haha! So the deal was that I have an 'extra' black box that the modem connects to, AND the main phone line connects through the black box, too.  I kept telling them that down at the Time Warner office, but it turned out they kept giving me the wrong modem box, so I would happily take the new modem, bring it home, connect it all up, and be frustrated out of my mind when it wouldn't connect to the internet.  I have a big serious problem with high blood pressure, these days (thanks to a terrible job situation, but more on that when I am completely away from that...), and I thought, okay, this is really bad for my stress levels, so after trying FIVE of the wrong modem boxes from Time Warner, I took a little break.  I just couldn't do it anymore -- I thought I would lose my mind, trying to force the modem to work... aaarrrgh!  And it turns out, praying didn't do me a whole lot of good, either... I'm not sure God is connected to the internet (although, He probably is, what with being Omnicient 'n all...! lol!).

Long story slightly shorter, after being offline for the first 5 days, all of a sudden my life felt simpler.  Easier.  I kind of felt like we were back in pioneer days (and, no, I am not prone to exagerate, which I have said for at least the millionth time...), but with all the lovely electricity and indoor plumbing, and whatnot... but it was bizarre how disconnected I felt from the whole world.  It was good and bad at the same time.  Like a regular vacation! hahaha!  (Have you ever been on the vacation, and afterwards, your favourite part was coming home?? haha!  Happens to me all the time!) 

It's funny, I didn't really realize, before, when the internet worked without question, that I think I might have been completely addicted to the internet.  How crazy does that sound?  But it was routine for me to check my emails all day long, and after I was disconnected for a while, I realized that I didn't have all the ups and downs that are sooo common with checking your emaill, see who you got an email from, how good was the email (or more importantly, how hot was it?? hahahaha!), and on the down side, who didn't you get an email from, and how disappointing was that?  I was on an emotional roller coaster ride, and all because of email!!  Aaaand, I had a slight obsession with how many visitors did I have to my sites, and how much money had I made over the course of each day (not much! Boooo!!  But one day I believe they will produce a nice income for me, God Willing! lol!).

Well, I kept going back and forth, back and forth, to the Time Warner offices (luckily, they're really close to where I live), trying to solve my internet computer connection problem, and most of the employees were really nice (albeit, they kept giving me the wrong modem, even when I begged them to pleeease just give me back the originl one that I had brought in when the problems first started), until we got the biggest beeeyotch of them all -- she was hooorrible to me.  (Funny thought... wouldn't it be hilarious to think in your head, when you are secretly thinking someone is being horrible to you, that they are being 'whore-able'?? hahahahaha!  Okay, now I like that... that will be my new thought to lighten things up for myself when some mean woman is being horrible (ne: 'whore-able' hahahaha!  That just makes me laugh! haha!) to me... and why are women more likely to be mean to other women, then all lovely to any man who approaches the counter?  What ever happened to female solidarity?  Sadly, (and luckily for me) it took a man to fix my problems (uh, I think that's happened before in me life! hahaha!)...

Time Warner eventually sent out some technicians (THREE weeks later.. can you imagine being offline for 3 whole weeks?? I should get a T-Shirt with "I Survivied My Broken Modem"... well, maybe not....) , and it took them over an hour to finally get my computer connected to the internet, again -- Thank God!!  Was like the skies parted and the sun came out! They were great technicians, and there was no way I would've been able to fix the problem myself.  So I guess the motto of this story is: You can't always fix things yourself.... or, take a little break from the computer, in case you, too, have become a slave to it, constantly checking your email (or whatever it is you looove so much on the internet!! hahahahaha!)

Well, the important thing is, I'm baaack!!  Yippee!  And I didn't miss nearly as much as  had imagined I had... is that pathetic?? haha!  whatever.  Now I am much better at staying away from the computer a bit more, and managing my time online a whole lot better...  I am no longer a slave to the computer, and I learned that the world was perhaps a simpler, and maybe a tad bit happier, when we weren't connected to each other, literally, 24/7.  Really, that's a fairly new phenomenon, so I'm guessing I'm not the only one out there in Computerland who was addicted to the internet... not in a weird way, but a way that definitely had a hold on my everyday emotions and activities... who knew?  Now I do!  Yippee, I've broken out of the Internet yoke!  Okay, I've gotta go check my email, see who's written to me since I started writing this... no, I kidding... I'll check it tomorrow... or the next day... we'll see how I feel! Now who's in control, Computer?  I think it might be me!! haha!  Maybe soon it will be you, too!! lol!  See you soon, Ailsa xox! (Those are distant hugs and kisses, just so we're both on the same page with that! hahahahaha!)

Oh, and if you would like to donate to the Redcross to help all the poor folks who are living real disasters, not just mere internet meltdowns, all those folks in the mid-west dealing with the aftermath of all those terrible tornadoes, you can Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a quick $10 donation.  You know how I feel about raising a lot of money -- ask for a little bit from a lot of people, and you'll get a great response, ask for a huge amount form a few people, you'll hardly get any... works every time!