I loved this book so much - what an absolutely beautiful way to look at elder care and end-of-life situations, with a total evaluation of the person's life, making sure the person is truly happy, and not just housed well, and kept safe from harm, but for each person, as they near their own end of life, to live as full a life, and as happy a life, as they can. The whole key is autonomy for each person, or as much autonomy over their own lives as possible, as each person reaches the different stages of the end of their life.
You might think this is a bit of a dry read, and why would you read it if you're totally fine, nothing to worry about, right? But here's the thing - so many of us have parents who are getting older, and we want the best for our parents, and many people will be approaching this end-stage of life, themselves, right now, or are starting to think about it, and sadly, there are people who reach their own end-of-life stage much younger than they thought, and then all of a sudden, this becomes of utmost concern to the patient, and to everyone around them.
Atul Gawande is a beautiful storyteller. Atul takes us through the stories of his own family, his Father and his Grandfather, who had lived to 110 years old, and only met his 'demise', if you will - hmm, that does not seem like a good word, given the nature of this lovely book - passed away, at 110, from falling when he was getting off a bus, because he happened to be going to deal with a business matter, so it was an accident that brought on the end of life... that's amazing, right? 110 years old! Wow. And the stories of Atul Gawande's own Dad, and his whole family - so touching, so moving. You will be taken into their lives, learn more about how to manage what can be a very difficult situation, and feel very connected to all the people in Atul Gawande's excellent book, Being Mortal. I highly recommend it.
I loved the whole section on the experiencing self and the remembering self. Very interesting, how we perceive a situation, especially a health situation, like childbirth, or a surgery, or anything of a health-related nature... that we will identify with one very painful part, then see how it all turned out, like, when I had my son, Aidan, they had induced me, even though I had begged them not to, t o let me have the baby completely naturally, and it was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt, and could never have imagined that level of pain - and I wonder why they did that? Time constraints at the hospital? Who knows. But in the end, here I have this wonderful new human being, my wonderful son, Aidan, mah' boy, I call him (!) - now he's 6 feet tall, such a good boy, so all that pain had an excellent outcome, right, so my main memory, if you will, is Aidan, not the pain, not the procedure ... anyway, when you read this section, toward the end of the book, Being Mortal, you might have your own stories come up, and you will think this is a very interesting concept, the 'remembering self' versus the 'experiencing self'.
I first came across Atul Gawande on The Daily Show, with Jon Stewart, I think, or maybe Atul was on The Colbert Show? Or maybe both?? lol! I looove The Colbert Show - we're savouring Stephen Colbert's last show - we'll watch the rest of it, tonight, slowly, if you know what I mean - all the Stephen Colbert fans will get that, for sure... we'll miss Stephen Colbert - so endlessly funny, and soo super-smart. Anyway, that's where I first heard Atul Gawande speak, and what a kind and articulate man, so I immediately went out and read The Checklist Manifesto, which was a very good read, too - was great. You will get so much out of these very smart, very well written books... you'll love them! And maybe you'll stay up 'til 4:30 am reading them, too! lol!
I loved the whole concept of helping people to stay in their own homes as long as possible, and I loved the new ideas for 'nursing homes', where they are much more like homes - closer to the Canadian model for group homes, that we have had for a long time, for our people with Special Needs. If there's a chance this is your first time in reading me, so-to-speak, I'm a Special Ed Teacher, so I have a very big interest in how people who need help are given it, and how great a life they have... where their lives are fully valued, they have as much autonomy over their actions as possible, and that their whole selves are nourished, not just on a physical level, and this goes for all people experiencing end-of life scenarios, where they, all of a sudden, require a higher level of care, but that that same care can be very kind and cheery, not stale and scary. Just think of how happy you are in your own home, surrounded by all the things you love, and the people who mean the most to you - you would want to keep that as long as you could, right? It just stands to reason. I loved all the stories of all the different new care-models, for what used to be called old folks homes. Haha! Makes me laugh, now - that's what we called them - there were amazing models in Calgary, where you could buy your condo, and you could increase your level of care as you needed it, but they were gorgeous units, moderately priced (I had really wanted my husband-at-the-time, a very good guy, to get his parents to have a look at them, they were that nice... but they have excellent elder-care, end-of-life care in Calgary, Alberta, Canada... and I can only hope they have that level of care, everywhere...).
We're in BC, Canada, now, and hilariously enough, one of my favourite jokes is that I can't wait to be 55, because life just opens up for everybody here, when they reach 55! hahaha! You should see all the beautiful places that are only available for the 55 and up group - lucky dogs! lol! The only downside to that, was, when we first moved here, all the places I looked at, that I really liked, with the fabulous views of the mountains and the ocean, were all only for the 55 plus group, so we weren't able to get any of them, and my son was 12, and they said, he had to be 19 to live there... soo, well, there you go, too young for the Island - hahahaha! No, me joke, and we're on Vancouver Island - is craaazy- gorgeous, and a beautiful place to live - and just think of what opportunities await me when I get to turn 55, too! lol!
