Saturday, January 4, 2014

Should You Go Out on a Second Date? #DatingAdvice : ) #Oooh! #LoveIsInTheAir! #Romance? lol!

Yeah, should you bother going out on a second date, if, say, the first date didn't go well? Hmmm... you'd think that would be a straight-forward, "Uh, d'uh, noooo...", right? Hmm... I guess it would depend on how you ended up going on that 'first date', in the first place. Is this a random date - do people actually do that, any more? Do people still date (says the girl who clearly doesn't see herself as 'dating' anyone! hahahahaha! Okay, that makes me laugh!)?  I don't know, are 'dates' archaic? It seems like it.

If you do meet someone, randomly, which, perhaps, is online, or at a grocery store (?), or somewhere, let's say, not at work, or not somewhere you frequent, like a bar (I'm kidding, you're prolly not out frequenting bars.. let's just say you might go there, regularly...happy, now? Prefer to think of yourself as 'a regular', and not necessarily a 'frequenter'? hahaha! Oh, man, this stuff makes me laugh! To myself, mostly! lol!) (I am a 'frequenter of bars'...yeah, you don't hear that, much... prolly 'cause it's a closely kept secret! hahaha!) (Man, you'd think I've been drinkin' all day, but, no, just eating chocolate... have yet to have a 'healthy' meal... whatever, we're still technically 'on break', and school doesn't go back in 'til Monday, at which time, we will return to our normal, 'healthy' selves, but until then, Hello, KFC! lol!)

So, should you go on a second 'date' with someone you didn't find a connection with on the first date? Is the question, really, how desperate are you for a relationship? Really desperate (for real, there are times in your life when you are truly 'desperate' for a relationship - I'm obviously past that... a great relationship would be a lot of fun, but I am no longer interested in putting up with a whole lot of crap in order to have said relationship - whatevs...plus, I use 'whatevs' too much - it has to really matter to me to put in that much effort..and I'll NEVER put up with anything abusive, again. Forget that. I am shocked at what I have tolerated in the past... poor me, makes me feel sad for myself, but that self is in my background, not in my present, and definitely not in my future, and I hope the same is true for you. This is much easier when you are financially independent, soooo, it's not usually a serious possibility for everyone, but I hope it becomes that for you, if it hasn't, already : ) I'm behind you all the way (not literally, no need to have a quick look behind you, right now! haha!)

Sooo, I think, regardless of the current information out there, right now, about keep seeing someone until you finally feel a connection.... mmmm, I don't think so. What a massive waste of your time. And money? Who is doing the paying? Is it that crap 'let's go dutch' thing? Bleh! That's a very bad sign. They'll never share their money, or anything else. Cheapos are the WORST! Worsetestest! Bleh! Noooo... they're jerks. Don't go anywhere you can't afford, that's ridiculous. And if there's no attraction, AND no fun times, no laughing, no great conversation, nuffin' at all, what makes anyone think there will magically be something great the next time you see them.....

However, let's say you do meet someone you regularly come in contact with - they make you smile, every time you see them. They make you laugh out loud, every time they text you, every conversation you have, they're actively fun to be around... you may not have been physically attracted to them, at first (or even better, you were! lol!), now we've got something to work with, here.... and that's definitely worth a shot.

I am endlessly disturbed by this 'renewed' whole 'men are the hunters' approach to finding someone who is just right for you. Ugh!!  Noooo, because that makes women 'prey'. And if a woman is actively 'running away', as prey does, and the man is 'hunting her down' - someone needs therapy, and plenty of it. Bleh!  I wish they would stop spouting off this kind of message - very bad for everyone involved. I say, mutual attraction works the best, and if mutual attraction is not your cup of tea, you're a crazy, and that is not fun, at all -- okay, disclaimer, everyone falls for a 'crazy', at least one time, sometimes they marry a few of them, but, eventually, let's hope everyone moves past the crazy train, and finds someone nice and kind and normal....who is'a schmokin' hot! hahahahaha! So that's what I hope for you - find someone you really, really want to spend time with, someone who makes you feel good, who makes you feel happy, and who you also make feel good and happy (whaaatt??  Equality?? Yep - shoot for equality, if you must use a hunting analogy! haha!).  Okay. I think I totally solved that...or just go on that second date, if it sounds like you can wrangle some fun out of it! lol!

Oh, and about that '90 day rule' - yeah, I don't know about that one, either... I've been engaged and moved in well within the 90 days, in mah' past...hahahahaha! Whatevs! If it's great, the chances are high it'll happen really fast... it's your life, your decisions...oh, just realized, I had mucho jewelry from these love interests right away - is that what makes the difference?? hahaha! Maybe only to me?? hahaha! Okay, go get yourself someone great! Mucho Luckos!! Ailsa xox
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