The Bachelor Brad Womack: Kiss-me-Quick-Brad! lol!

Brad Womack, he feels a lot for a lot of women, and he feels a need to kiss them all -- for their own sake, not just for him. Ask his therapist... They MAKE him do it.  They want it, for self-assurance, and perhaps a chance at a little spotlight, a teensy bit of camera time?? haha!  Oh, no.  But, really, my main concern is Michelle, or as her friends and neighbors most likely know her, 'Crazy Michelle'... so, clearly, she belted herself in the middle of the night and gave herself a black eye.  And you know that's not the first time she has done that for effect, because who in their right mind would EVER hurt themselves to create their own black eye???  What a LUNATIC.  I say that in giant letters, because Brad magically doesn't seem to notice crazy.  Or is it all men who don't notice crazy?  Do men like crazy??  I think they might, add the drama to their lives... who wants a nice stable girl, warm and fuzzy, when you can have a lunatic waiting with a knife at your door when you come home from a hard day at the office? What excitement! What fun!!  Who's phone will she break, next?? What giant lawyer bills will come when things really hit rock-bottom... but who can see that coming? Not some men, that's for sure....

But what is truly bizarre, is that Brad seems to really go for the Plain Jane girls... have you noticed how 'dressed-down' they all are?  Like country bumpkins?  Did they know they were gonna be on TV, so maybe they would want to put their best foot forward every day, not only on their official dates??  Hmmmm... seems a tad obvious, right?  Only one girl will be 'The Chosen One', so the rest will want to put themselves out there as 'available, single girls', in case some heterosexual man is actually watching The Bachelor, looking for his new wife! hahahahaha!  (Okay, dat one for me!! haha!  If there are any hetero guys out there watching The Bachelor, they're watching it with their girlfriends or wives, and thinking about how each of these girls would be in a relationship, and by 'relationship', I mean 'bed', with them ... lol!)

So what's the deal with all the 'conquer your greatest fear' on The Bachelor??  Chantal O. hates deep sea diving, so what do they do?  Deep Sea Diving (oh, about 30 feet off the beaches of Catalina Island, off the Coast of California... I can easily see it from our favourite beach, over by Playa del Rey...! lol!).  And Michelle is afraid of heights (but nothing else... ick, Michelle is horrifying... I bet she has a tried and true recipe for Rabbit Soup, is all I gotta say about this looney-toons!! hahaha!), so where does he take Michelle?  To the top of a phenomenally tall building in Downtown L.A. to repel off the roof.. but how gross was that that she kept calling Brad 'babe'??  Yuck!  No, he's not 'babe' to you, yet.  He's too busy molesting all the other women (my bad... I mean, molesting fondly, all the other women...).  And I hate when a girl (it's never an adult, normal woman who says this phrase, always a girl unsure of herself, because she knows the phrase isn't true... when a girl calls the guy 'My Man'.  Honey, you wouldn't have to call him 'MY Man, if he really were your man.  Ick.  It's like an assertion to gain possession of someone... yuck.  Creeps me out when I hear Michelle use that term -- she's sooo low-end, a skank, some might say.... And from Utah.  I thought they only grew really nice women in Utah... maybe she's from somewhere else?? Hope so!

So I still really like Emily, and I really liked the little mini-picnic Brad set up for them (very sweet), but I don't want Brad to hurt her... which he most likely would do, so maybe there will be a good guy who will find her after the show ends, if Brad doesn't choose Emily (but how could Brad choose betwen a lovely girl like Emily, and a lunatic-disgusting-girl like Michelle? They're polar opposites... makes no sense to me...).  And I really like Chantal O., and her favorite watch that Chantal loooves to wear all the time... "Is it time for Brad to choose me, yet? No?  Okay, I'll wait... with the rest of Brad's harem..."

Now we're down to, what, 8 girls?  A lot of them look the same to me... wonder if Brad has the girls secretly wear little name tags in the back of their dresses, so he can quickly sneak a peek when he goes in for a quick hug and a very long kiss, then he can deftly say their name, s-l-o-w-l-y, like he says everything else... automaton or real man?  You be the judge! hahaha! xox! (And I mean it, just from a distance, computerland-kisses! lol!)

#Bridalplasty: Janessa Vs. Allyson, Fight Night #Weddings #Marriage #PlasticSurgery #Wine!

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Bridalplasty - it's always playing SOMEWHERE in the world - lol! 

 So how the hell did Allyson get to be the final bride to get to choose the last two brides standing???  Seems grossly unfair, and I do mean 'grossly'... Why no competition to get to the Final Two??  What, did the producers of Bridalplasty think, 'Ah, screw it, let's just leave this up to...uh,... Allyson, she's such a hard worker. Why, the work ethic of Allyson is soo strong, she deserves to have the final say...'.  Hmm. Seems highly questionable... as was the decision to have the girls ask each other the questions... hilarious.  Even funnier that Janessa and booooring Dominique devised a clever little scheme that no-one could see through, no one would ever suspect, of rubbing their throats if they didn't know the answer, running their fingers through their hair if they did know the answer... and I didn't see anyone run their fingers through their hair, tonight!!  But it did look like Janessa and Dominique had very, very scratchy throats! hahaha!  Oh, these girls... they're soo entertaining!


And I've gotta say, I looved Dominique's sad, sad tale of sibling rivalry and sisterly jealousy, what with her horrible parents spending ALL their money on Dominique's SISTER'S wedding, leaving nothing for her parents to pay for HER wedding.  Hmm. I'm just throwin' this out there, but isn't it 2011?  Aren't women free to WORK for a living, and wouldn't it be wise to choose a man who has the ability to save a little money of his own, and, gasp, pay for your own wedding?? hahaha!  These goils! Hilarious that they want everyone else to do all the work for them, including losing the weight (Allyson, through the magic of liposuction -- exercise is such a hassle...)....

Poor Cheyenne, she had to go home, tonight, after so cruelly being asked too many questions she had no idea how to answer... 'What is your mother-in-law's middle name?'  Man, I wouldda failed that, too, because, as you might have guessed, I gave my two mother-in-laws-to-be my own names for them... oh, dat not very nice!!  But I had to keep myself amused, or else there wouldn't have BEEN a wedding, either time, if you knows what I mean!! The mother-in-law thing is not always as rosy as one might like it to be... and the only reason I can think of asking all those questions about names would be to decide on a name for future children, but the chances of a Mom naming her child after someone she actively tries to avoid... very slim odds on that! So I guess I wouldda failed that test, too! But something tells me that Cheyenne is okay for cash, and will definitely have a fancy wedding, and most likely, not at her own expense... and Cara, my lovely daughter (we watch all these shows together, and laugh and laugh, all very catty! lol!), was telling me that Cheyenne is from New Jersey, and then I said, oh, I thought Cheyenne was from Florida, since she has such a great tan, then I remembered (like a light bulb! haha!), GTL.  Gym Tan Laundry, from our friends over at the Jersey Shore... but in Cheyenne's case, it would have to just be 'GT', Gym Tan, since we all know Cheyenne hates doing da laundry! haahaha! (Otay, sowwy, dat joke is jus' for me! I tryin' to make meself laugh!! Cheer meself up!!)

So Allyson, all powered up, chooses her 'nemesis', Janessa to go to the Finals next week.  Think the producers told her to do that??  Man, that irks me that there wasn't a fair competition... I looved the flower arranging competition, with duller-than-sin Mary-Beth... no, that's not right, that just sounds like a dull name (sorry, all the Mary-Beths who have just stopped reading me blog!!)  Lisa Marie... I knew it was a double-barrelled name... but remember when Lisa Marie just couldn't figure out how to put some flowers together into a bouquet??  Hilarious!  I love that level of incompetence -- it's endlessly amusing to me! hahaha!  Reminds me of the games they used to play on Monty Python, where the idiots would run the course, try to stop and take a ladies bra off a dummy, and would struggle and struggle... all the Monty Python fans will remember that scene! So silly! lol!

Only one week to go... who will win the fanciest schmanciest wedding, ever??  Will it be Janessa or Allyson??  Could you tell from the bride walking down the aisle at the end of the show?  She had mega-skinny shoulders, so it is either Janessa, or Allyson has had the al the fat liposuctioned away, so now she looks just like Janessa!! haha!  Well, I guess we'll know soon enough, and THEN what will we watch?  The Kardashians?? lol!  (Yes, of course we will watch the Kardashians.. we're trying to see just how big is Kim's behind, now??? hahahaha! It's the important questions I ask!! hahaha!) xox! My favourite books to start with, with Louise Hay - You Can Heal Your Life - brilliant, and it really WILL change your life... and Meditations for Daily Living - think that's the right title  - is so lovely, you'll love it - all very heartwarming, very clarifying... and Louise Hay has a tiny little book, I Can Do It - looove it, you'll love it, too... I love all of Louise's books... so lovely and life-changing : ) http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.ca/2014/11/you-can-heal-your-life-by-louise-l-hay.html





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The Housewives of Beverly Hills: What, is it really over, already? But the Party just started!!

Man, I canny believe the fighting is over so soon ....  I mean, the parties are over so soon... and they had sooo much fun at their parties, what with the drinking, and fighting... is this Bad Girls Club or The Housewives of Beverly Hills?? haha!  Maybe this is what the Bad Girls will look like when they clean themselves up a bit , marry rich, and get a fair bit older.. lol!  One fight after another, or, rather, the SAME fight, over and over, and all around Camille and her 'insecurities', or 'insignificance', as each person chooses to remember their own prior scenes!  Hilarious that Taylor (not even her name is real... who knew??  Man, those are the biggest lips I've ever seen, but they look totally natural, so it's all good! lol!) claims not to remember exactly what she said to Camille, but it's clearly caught on tape -- maybe she would like to consider a career in law??

Dang, I wanted to see just one more kissing scene between Camille and her 'special friend' Nick... with his wife watching, yet again.  I don't know why I find that endlessly fascinatiing.. I want to know what's in it for the wife?  There's gotta be something in it for her, becasue what normal wife would EVER allow some prissy girl (or ANY girl, no matter how fugly! lol!) kiss her husband right on the mouth, right in front of her??  Yick!!  Unless she's next in line for the next schmooch??? hahaha!  Did she say she likes the number 3?? haha!  Maybe there's a giant pay-off for them, what with Camille magically coming into $50 million dollars, soo... but what was about Kelsey Grammar trying to get custody of the kids?  Hasn't he been away from the kids for a year, with no bother, and didn't he get a new kid?  Oh, sorry, that's his new Fiancee.... my bad!! hahahaha! (Okay, you know that just makes me laugh...! lol!)  Noo, that's silly, but don't they have a kid of their own on the way, or perhaps already here??  Why is he trying to take the children away from Camille?  That sounds particularly cruel to me, but who knows what the reality of anyone's life is, right?  You can never tell...

Dat Me, all delusional! lol!

That Sister Sister fight was soo crazy.  I wonder what all has gone down between Kim and Kyle to cause that level of anger, and actual physical aggression.  So it sounded like Kim had bought their Mom's house, and maybe that's the house where Kyle lives with her family, but Kyle's husband is rich, isn't he?  He's a Beverly Hills Realtor, he must be loaded... so why on earth would they still live in a modest house that belonged to Kim and Kyle's Mom, especially if there is a dispute over whther Kim owns that house... seems pretty fishy to me... and poor Kim, ambushed at the party (and also tardy for the party... lol!), then driven over the edge.  I feel for the kid -- wonder how old Kim is?  Late forties?  I wonder if people describe ME like that?? hahaha! (I'm delusional, I always think I look waaay younger than I am!  So far, that delusion's really workin' out for me! hahaha!) 

Well, if Kim is in rehab, I hope she gets the help she needs, if she feels she needs it... you canny help anyone who does not believe there's anything wrong, because they're thinking, 'What's to fix??  How do you fix perfection???" haha!  Ah, well. That really irritated me that those girls were such CB's for Kim in the limo, when she was finally alone with Martin, the fellow she's sort of interested in... not cool, girls, soo not cool. Never be a CBer! lol! (People in da mid-west, ask around, someone you know will know what a CBer is!! Just don't let it be you!! haha!)  Maybe Kim will get all nice and clean and sober, and she can have another round with good looking Martin -- will be great for the next season of The Housewives of Beverly Hills!

And maybe Taylor will make a final decision of whether it's worth living in a loveless marriage, just to live the life of a rich Beverly Hills Housewife. It's not worth it, Taylor!!  Or maybe it is... she may or may not find love elsewhere.. you never know.  Maybe they can find some little flame they can stoke to get their marriage back on track, if it was ever there to begin with... but it's good to see the reality of what a real gold digger looks like, and it's not always a bad thing, it's just a life choice that some people think will make them happier... and sometimes it does... for a while...

Did you love the story at the end of the show with Frederique (spelling??) (real name, anyway??? hahaha!), having that huge fight with Lisa (who is my favourite girl, hands down, and I especially love that purple rose dress she wears all the time -- it's soo gorgeous!!), and hasn't spoken to Lisa since he finally moved out??  About time!  I was shocked to hear Frederick (I'll try all the spellings! lol!) was 37!  Wow.  He looks great at 37. I thought he was 29, and that's why he kept referring to himself as 'like their child', because it really seemed he was very interested in being flirty with Lisa.. hmmm.  Maybe his middle name is Oedipus... one can never tell!! haha!

Okay, I gotsta bounce!  See ya'!  Maybe around Beverly Hills?? Who knows who will show up, next season, so we can watch the drama ensue! xox! (those kisses are AIR kisses, of course -- no one wants to spoil their make-up with a kiss, for God's Sake! lol!)