The Worst Oscar Hosts, EVER... Bring Back the Comedians!

Omg, what, were they saving money by having a couple of actors fill in for a fantastic comedian??  WTF??  Never again, me hopes... there wasn't a decent laugh of the night until Billy Crystal came out, and did you notice he got a standing ovation from the entire audience??  They were probably really excited that someone would actually start entertaining them... puh-leease, leave the acting to the actors, and the comedy to the comedians.. and there are soo many great comedians... Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Jimmy Fallon, Ellen DeGeneres, Ricky Gervais.... ugh.  So many funny people, and Anne Hathawy is chosen... and James Franco...that wee bit where she wore the tux and he wore the dress was funny, and I had just said to Cara, my lovely daughter, the only thing that could make this part funny is if James Franco comes out wearing her dress, since she's clearly stolen his tuxedo... and out he came in a dress... hmmmm.  Tedious.  Bring back the funny, Oscar Awards Show people... and everyone won who you knew would win... the usual... but why wasn't Despicable Me at least nominated for teh Best in Animation Award?  It was hiiliarious!  I think it might've been me favourite movie of the year -- or at least, the most enjoyable!

Oh, and Cara has a wee joke for you, since she's not going to bother writing about the (yaaawn) Oscars... Anne Hath-a-way of being boring... think olde English on that one! lol!  Poor Anne, she's great in movies, especially for kids, they just should've chosen a comedian, not actors, to host the Oscars. 

I'm gonna go get the link for Ricky Gervais' hilarious little piece he had jokingly written for the Anne Hathaway/James Franco opening to the Oscars... it's really funny, so if you didn't get your quota of laughs in, tonight, you'll get them reading this... I'll go find it, but in the meantime, you could Google Ricky Gervais' Oscar Speech', and see what comes up! lol!  Okay, got the link for you -- it's soo funny!  We loove Ricky Gervais, and we love Karl Pilkington, so if you haven't seen An Idiot Abroad, and you fancy a laugh and a quick trip around the globe from the comfort of your own home (or someone else's...), there's a link to that on Ricky Gervais' blog and website, too.... and An Idiot Abroad on the Science Channel, on Saturday nights... we just DVR it, so we can watch it whenever we like (now, how do people manage in the Third World without DVR?  Also, food and water, and some education... no, I kid.  That's not funny... I'll write a cheque to cover that joke, fer sures... ).  Okay, see you after The Bachelor!! lol!  (I only write about the deepest of shows...! Ailsa xox

Survivor: Phillip Survives , Matt Sent to Redemption Island...

Shockingly, Phillip, Secret A-Gent Man, Former FBI man, orange undy-wearin' Phillip, survived the Tribal Council on Survivor, tonight -- lucky Franscesta! At least she just has pleasant little Matt to keep her company on Redemption Island (which looks like 'comfy-cozy' island, to me... looks like a little hut, a bed of some sort, and a flint, a little rice... not that bad, for Survivor, and now that I think of it, why did the Survivors get soo many supplies when they first arrived on the Island?  (Must find out where they are! lol!  Is it a special secret?  A secret we're not privy to, me wonders?? haha!  Well, I try to find out fer youse!!)

But fer real, why so much stuff for the Survivors??  A basket full of tools for building?  I wouldda loooved that!  You know I love designing and building houses!! haha!  I like them a little more elaborate than a hut on the beach, but that's starting to sound pretty good to me, right about now (Funk Show Brothers... lol!).

Omg, I hate Russell, already.  He's too skeevy for me... is that a word in America?? haha!  Well, you'll guess what it means! I hate the way he chooses two pretty wee things, and is all gross and flirty with them... yuck!  Isn't he still married??  Yuck!  And isn't Russell still a millionaire?  Give the million dollar prize to someone who needs it... or at least someone not creepy... so I think I like Ralph on Russell's team, he seems like a really good worker, and I like that in a person, not lazy ... we canny remember the team names, this Season, so we call them the Omelets and I call the other team the Zolofts... I think I'm sorta right, or right enough for me to tell them apart! haha! Really, it just amounts to Russell's team and Boston Rob's team, right?  Oh, and I really like Mike, the fellow who served in Iraq... now there's a guy (and not just because he's good looking, but mostly because of that!! hahaha!) who should win a million dollars!!  He's probably nice under those muscles, too... I'm just guessing... I don't really care.. the muscly part is good enough for me (I'm deep like that! hahaha!).

I do enjoy that girl (I use the term 'girl' fairly loosely, hre...), Kristina... man, you know she's had a breast aug, and she wore her bikini to the Tribal Council, so you know that means she thinks she is hot stuff, baby... I looove that.  Maybe she used to be, and remembers those days.. I was sure she and Phillip wouldda struck up a little sumthin' sumthin'... if only Phillip had stopped talking, and calling so many meetings 'Uh, if I could have your attention over here...'... Ah, no, no one gets any attention in a casual group when you have to ASK (or, more accurately, demand) for their attention.. too weird for words... awkward... socially awkward... poor Phillip, he appears to mean well.  Wonder what his longest relationship has ever been?  Although, some women can put up with anything... who knows?  I love to know stuff like that -- let's me know a lot about a person... if 3 weeks is youse longest relationship, ever, ruh-roh, you might not do all that well on Survivor... it's all about knowing how to keep yourself and the other person happy, right?  Easy schmeasy... or is it?? hahahaha! (I'm twice divorced, so apparently, not always easy to stay happy... but I always like to give it a really good try!! lol!).

I did love how furious Andrea is at Boston Rob for secretly arranging to have her 'new boyfriend', Matt, voted off to Redemption Island... hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and ain't that the truth!! hahahaha!  It'll be very interesting to see what kind of wrath Andrea pulls out her bag o' tricks, next week, to get back at Rob for taking away her new love interest... will be fun to watch!!  It's the human drama I love soo much in Survivor!! (Tha, and Jeff Probst!! lol!)

Survivor: Redemption Island...Rob and Russell, back for more Survivor Fun! lol!

So Survivor: Redemption Island started, last night.. I was gonna write about it, last night, then all of a sudden, I couldn't be bothered... it's not like I didn't enjoy Survivor, I did, and I always do, but all those 'ads' about the 'What ifs' really irritated me... And I didn't realize that Shambo was only 45 when she did Survivor... man, that's younger than me... old enough to get a decent hair cut, right? haha! Ah, well. But there was something about seeing Russell doing the same old, same old, choosing a young girl to make his pet, drag her along to the end, that just irritated me... ruh-roh, that's the second time I've used the word 'irritate' in one paragraph, about the same thing.. not a good sign! lol! But I do like Boston Rob, and I loved the saggy orange undies the men seemed to be wearing.. really, you're going on Survivor, wouldn't you wear some undies that fit well, or at least accentuate you a little, rather than the saggiest of all da undies you own?? hahaha! And why are some people STILL arriving on Survivor with high heels?? Come on, every meeting you go to that is called by the Survivor show, be prepared to be magically whisked off to God Knows Where, and wear some running shoes (and nice undies!)... and I would go GET a pair of glasses, just so you could have them to start a fire, in case your team doesn't win the flint right away...

Anyway, I am completely glad that Survivor: Redemption Island, is back on the air, and I really, really hope that Jeff Probst stays with Survivor, forever, because we looove Jeff Probst, and Survivor wouldn't be the same without him (and not just because of his very handsome dimples, neither... he talks good, too! hahaha!) We loved Jeff Probst on Jimmy Fallon (Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, one of our favourite, favourite shows!), and it would be hilarious to see Jimmy Fallon on a Celebrity, shortened version of Survivor (maybe with all the chocolate you can eat, or sumthin' equally as enticing as that.. maybe that's just something that would lure me in, not necessarily Jimmy Fallon...! haha!).

Phillip, the 'Secret Agent Man', was hilarious... intentionally, or not.... the orange undies were the least of his 'little' problems... poor guy!  Either he'll drive everyone mad and be voted off right away, or they will be able to use them for information (what with that FBI/CIA background, Phhillip should at least be useful as a spy... haha!)
So Francesca (Franchesta, no, wait, I'll get it... Frantesta.... oh, just go with 'Fran' says da stupiest Survivors, who haven't taken the time to learn how to spell... but at least they didn't do my favourite, favourite thing before the Tribal Council... 'Hey, how do you spell your name, again? I want to get it right when I VOTE YOU OUT, tonight'...) was voted 'off' to Redemption Island... will be very interesting to see how the contestants (Survivors, each and every one of them...) manage all on their own (and a small camera crew, which would mean at least someone is there to film any leopard attacks, and whatnot...) do when they only have their own self to cope... sooo many contestants on Survivor are 'riders'... they ride along on someone else's coattails, never building a fire, never finding food, never helping around the camp... I hate those loafers.. get off yer asss and help, I say to the TV... (which sometimes answers me, but not consistently.... seems to be 'beer-related'... buh-dum-bum... hahaha!) Okay, I'm moving into silly, so it must be time to stop... I hope you are all Surviving your own life, and having a good time.. I would have said, 'having a great time', but, really, most of us would settle for just having a pretty good time, most of the time, and that would be great!! haha! Okay, I take that back... go have a GREAT time, ALL the time!! lol! Ailsa xox! :)